Fuck Your Couch!

The title of this entry is largely unrelated to the post. I am here to bitch about the ridiculous amount of press coverage USC is getting right now. Specifically, I am referring to the four whole minutes ESPN is devoting to SportsCenter attempting to place this year's USC team among the great ones in history. Now, I have no problem talking about it in the abstract. USC is no doubt a great team. Hell, I wouldn't even have much of a problem putting a little poll on the web and having the public vote. But to have Kirk Herbstreit and Mark May spend part of their day trying to figure out who would win between USC and (tonight's contender, for example) the 1991 Washington Huskies is excessive.

I hate this shit. For the past two years, we've talked about Oklahoma's place in history, as their past two teams have put up huge offensive numbers (Jason White - 40 touchdowns in 2003), but the media didn't cut into its on-air prime time to debate this topic.

Why the fuck does USC get so much goddamn coverage?!? And why is it all so desperately positive? I'm starting to think it's because they are from LA, a glamorous, sexy town that loves superstars. Think ESPN would shack up in Norman for two weeks to do a show about the Sooners' place in history? I think not.

I realize that Leinart and Bush are Heisman trophy winners. They are stellar players, play on a great team, and are enjoying a great run. But I would like to see the media treat them like the mortal humans they are, not eternal deities. Seriously, this team receives more press than the damn Colts. And it's as if Pete Carroll can do no wrong if you give him three weeks to prepare for something. Maybe we should give Pete Carroll three weeks to devise a plan to defeat the terrorists in the Middle East.

Some of you USC supporters/fuckers may think I'm jealous. Maybe I am. I'm just pissed off that the media has already voted USC national champion two weeks before the game is to be played. So let's save the great debate until after the game.

I am reminded through all of this of a lesson I learned as a little kid. That lesson is that everyone has a weakness. Indeed, it's hard to find one in USC, but one exists. Someone or some team that experiences tremendous success begins to believe that they can't be beat. So I hope SC reads the press and believes all this shit.

I hope all this press makes our players ultra motivated to beat these fuckers. Reggie Bush's dumb ass already called this game "like a home game." I implore all the Texas fans to show up early, show these USC folk how we do it down south, and cheer our team to victory. I was really pissed off at Ohio State because fans were talking so much shit, and extremely happy when we won the game. I am even more pissed off now. It is not an option anymore, we must win this game.

Finally, if you read this and you're from LA...I need some bars/clubs to go to, so hook me up. I hear The Belmont is hot right now.