Zero Tolerance Policy

If ever I experienced proof that my post-college drinking tolerance has significantly decreased, it was this evening. After a long day of doing basically nothing, I looked forward to joining my friend Jenni at Los Cacos for $1 margaritas on Tuesdays. That's when it got ugly. I kept up with her for the first one. She quickly downed her second and proceeded to begin sipping her third while I was midway through my second. I finally made it to my third when she began her fourth. I only got 1/3 of the way through my third 'rita when I had to throw in the towel. The delicious spinach enchiladas I enjoyed along the way were crowding out space in my stomach. Jenni kept on trucking and downed her fifth. I was impressed. And a little embarassed. Seriously, when was the last time I was outdrank by 66% (her 5 to my 3, 5/3 = 1.66667)? The answer- only once, during a ragingly alcoholic trip I took to New Orleans when I was a sophomore at UT. I attempted to keep up with three guys who averaged 6'4 and 200 lbs. I was way in over my head.

So, I have concluded I have no tolerance, and since I need something on which to focus my energies these days, I have decided to cross train for drinking. I am going to have a liver expansion surgery as well as a stomach expansion. The result of both procedures should bode well for my prospects of never being outdrank like that again. My threshold is 10%. 66% is a bit much.

In other news, I went to the store and bought some grape juice today. The funny part is that I only remembered to get one of the items I actually went there for. I also forgot my digital camera at home, so I was unable to get a picture of some 2005 grape drink. Not to worry, faithful readers, I will post a pic soon.

And finally, I received word that the Rose Bowl tickets have arrived. I am the luckiest fan alive. I will have attended, for free, two of the biggest games this season. I don't really care now that I paid $275 for that Ohio State ticket. I will have attended 6 games this year, and gone to 3 of them (including Oklahoma and USC) free of charge. I am lucky. Very, very, very, very lucky. Or is it that I am well-connected, like the spider who rules the jungle?

Trojans are too small for Longhorns, bitches.

Skeet, skeet, skeet all over USC.