She's An Investment Banker...

It's 2:56am. I smell like a perfect mix of smoke, Chanel perfume, and alcohol, otherwise known as a typical night in Midtown. My head hurts. My ears are ringing. I'm chugging water and wishing the clubs were open till 4. But all is well, at least for this night, because I have converted two followers into Midtown-lovers. That's right, Logan & Eden love this place. It took me over a year to convince the first member of 10106 Bassoon that Midtown is the shit. And tonight, I have two people.

Allow me to briefly explain. Shortly after moving home from wonderful NYC, I discovered club 410, which I thought was amazing. Well, 410 sucks now so I had to find a new place. Two weeks ago, I found it. It's called Hue and it is 0.3 miles from my place. And it's fucking baddass. The place plays the greatest mix of music ever, catering to all audiences. The crowd looks great, and there's no cover. The drinks are expensive as shit (tonight I spent $135, mainly because we got 10 Jager Bombs @ $9 each) but the atmosphere makes up for it.

Since I discovered Logan's "white-boys-can-dance" groove in Vegas, I figured he'd like it. Our acquaintence, Eden, who looks exactly like Uma Thurman (damn, girl, you need to call me more often), loves to dance, so this was the perfect place. The place rocked.

When we first walk in, we begin the evening with the near-ceremonial partaking of the first Jaeger Bomb. I will suggest for the next 10 years that we toast to Texas winning the National Championship. So we toast, slam, and order the next round. Along the way, we notice this chick next to us. She was white, brown hair, about 5'2, probably 105. Bangin' Come to find out, she, and her fine ass blonde friend who had a boyfriend, went to Georgia Tech, and the girl is an investment banker. Chris was a banker. Chris knows the life. Unfortunately, the timing of this was way too late and she peaced out before we could really talk to her. However, as she was dancing, Logan astutely pointed out that half the girl's right nipple was showing. So, I tried to Jedi-mind trick this girls' nipple into full exposing itself. The girl had A cups (and a very miracle push-up bra), so it wouldn't have been anything magical, but cool nonetheless. My Jedi-mind trick didn't work. Oh well.

I was really pissed off that I didn't learn she was a banker until late in the evening. I would have played that shit off perfectly. Would have been in like Flint. So now, like the European chick, I'm gonna have to back-door this shit. I know she works at CSFB, and I know like 5 people there. I also still know people at JPM. So I'll just work the connects and see where it takes me.

Tomorrow I am going to my friend Karen's birthday party. Karen is married to my friend Mike, and I finally get to see their house. I'm really excited. They have such a great marriage, I'm almost jealous.

Next week I am headed to the East Coast Throwdown at The Ohio State University. My cousin is turning the big 19 (insert jokes about a 24 year old partying with 19 and 20 year old girls). Happy Birthday Drew! I still hate your football team.