The Coup - LG

Last night, finally, i got the china! Only because of my mother do i
mention that first. Along with it came the 'stuff', the camera
equipment, the photo album, cds, movies, my high school class ring and
a few necklaces i use to wear, and the cake knife. The cake knife?
Yes, the cake knife, with our names engraved on it meant to be used
'you know when'. what do you think i did? I sat in my room a few
moments to compose myself. i showed chris the photo album. Stacie put
it together for me for graduation. It pretty much chronicles my time
in college and does a damn fine job of it. Whole pages of the pals,
most of my favorite pictures in the same place. Ah, my stuff! Little
things that I had forgotten were over there. Those things you don't
know you have. My snowman stuffed bear, the last Christmas gift I will
ever receive from my grandmother. Relief and sadness at the same time.
it was liberation and degredation all rolled into one moment.

So, whats the coup? Last week I told stacie that chris and i would
show up for my stuff. Thats not good enough. She wants me alone for
several reasons. Once a reason, always a reason (one reason i'm not
looking back). Tuesday, i'm talkin to her again. Twice i get messaged
'i miss you'. Of course! Again, the reasons. Just me? OK! .... NO!
I don't show up. When she looks through her peephole its chris,
standing there holding her stuff. Look, there is one reason i said
chris was going with me. Emotionally, I can't do it by myself. She'll
be pulling with everything she has to break me. Induce me into some
sort of 'we'll be friends', 'we'll hang out'. So, play your games.
This old dog aint bitin. She wasn't going to let me do it my way so
lets see how she likes that. People, please do not mess with me. Do
not push me into doing something, i'm not nice about it. now i can
break out some of that aloe. it soothes the burn.

Chris deserves a round of applause. I asked him to do something that
shouldn't be in any mans best interest. I couldnt go. I couldnt face
her. I couldnt go in there, swap stuff, and see her cry. And chris?
he had to be the guy that she sees, standing outside her door when she
expects to see me... hats off to ya brother.

Today blew. Lame dream last night and bad news elsewhere had me
clouded . It got better about 6 or so when metallica started ringing
in my ears. So since i talked about parents, what we call life, and
metallica all in one..... (you'll love it mike!)

(not what i was listening to)
"Innocence / Torn from me without your shelter / Barred reality /
I'm living blindly"