Random thoughts - December 2005

It's random thoughts time. I tend to do this once a month or so. I'll bounce around from topic to topic here.

I am slightly troubled because my blog has no topical focus. I know I "decided" back in August to talk about whatever, but I feel that there ought be a theme among my writings. It is tough for me to focus on one topic because my mind is thinking about 10 different things at once, but, as they teach at the Edgar Allen Poe Veterinary School of Journalism for Ravens at the University of Kansas, good journalists can focus on a singular subject and develop it well. Guess I'm a bad journalist...

I was completely and totally wrong in my assessment of the Fort Worth bowl being unwatchable. Indeed, I did watch it and enjoyed the, albeit surpring, offensive production of Kansas. I am saddened that Houston crumbled like it did. 42-13 was not the score I, or anyone else for that matter, expected. Congratulations Jayhawks, you played a stellar game. Houston, it'll have to wait till next year.

I still haven't bought most of my Christmas presents yet. I could have bought them today, but I spent a ton of time looking for a #10 Texas football jersey. As expected, it was no where to be found. I intend to buy everything tomorrow. And this year, I giving everyone exactly what they want: options. That's right, gift cards for all.

Finally, I am sick of ESPN college football analysts Kirk Herbstreit and Mark May. I have completely lost respect for these guy's work over the past week. I am convinced USC pays them to say some of the baseless, stupid shit on TV right now. Mark May, for example, says 2005 USC would beat the 1997 Michigan team 49-14 (5 touchdowns) if they played. That Michigan team allowed a total of 5 passing touchdowns all season and beat 7 top 25 teams, including 2 top 10 teams. That team led the nation in takeaways. Mark, are you fucking retarded? 5 touchdowns?!? If this crew says USC could beat 2001 Miami, I am going to blow a gasket. What's worse is that the entire nation is also voting on this shit, and they're all saying USC would win these games. We live in a nation full of idiots. On a lighter note, some fans are joking about the massive cosmic powerhouse that ESPN is making USC out to be. Some have suggested had USC teamed with Poland, the German invasion would have been stopped. Still others would like to see 2005 USC vs Julius Caesar's 58 B.C. Roman army. Kirk and Mark are still taking USC. Take the Trojan cock out of your mouths guys. It's getting ridiculous.

Merry Christmas everyone! Let's all make 2006 better than 2005. I know I will.

Fuck Your Couch!

The title of this entry is largely unrelated to the post. I am here to bitch about the ridiculous amount of press coverage USC is getting right now. Specifically, I am referring to the four whole minutes ESPN is devoting to SportsCenter attempting to place this year's USC team among the great ones in history. Now, I have no problem talking about it in the abstract. USC is no doubt a great team. Hell, I wouldn't even have much of a problem putting a little poll on the web and having the public vote. But to have Kirk Herbstreit and Mark May spend part of their day trying to figure out who would win between USC and (tonight's contender, for example) the 1991 Washington Huskies is excessive.

I hate this shit. For the past two years, we've talked about Oklahoma's place in history, as their past two teams have put up huge offensive numbers (Jason White - 40 touchdowns in 2003), but the media didn't cut into its on-air prime time to debate this topic.

Why the fuck does USC get so much goddamn coverage?!? And why is it all so desperately positive? I'm starting to think it's because they are from LA, a glamorous, sexy town that loves superstars. Think ESPN would shack up in Norman for two weeks to do a show about the Sooners' place in history? I think not.

I realize that Leinart and Bush are Heisman trophy winners. They are stellar players, play on a great team, and are enjoying a great run. But I would like to see the media treat them like the mortal humans they are, not eternal deities. Seriously, this team receives more press than the damn Colts. And it's as if Pete Carroll can do no wrong if you give him three weeks to prepare for something. Maybe we should give Pete Carroll three weeks to devise a plan to defeat the terrorists in the Middle East.

Some of you USC supporters/fuckers may think I'm jealous. Maybe I am. I'm just pissed off that the media has already voted USC national champion two weeks before the game is to be played. So let's save the great debate until after the game.

I am reminded through all of this of a lesson I learned as a little kid. That lesson is that everyone has a weakness. Indeed, it's hard to find one in USC, but one exists. Someone or some team that experiences tremendous success begins to believe that they can't be beat. So I hope SC reads the press and believes all this shit.

I hope all this press makes our players ultra motivated to beat these fuckers. Reggie Bush's dumb ass already called this game "like a home game." I implore all the Texas fans to show up early, show these USC folk how we do it down south, and cheer our team to victory. I was really pissed off at Ohio State because fans were talking so much shit, and extremely happy when we won the game. I am even more pissed off now. It is not an option anymore, we must win this game.

Finally, if you read this and you're from LA...I need some bars/clubs to go to, so hook me up. I hear The Belmont is hot right now.

Going Pro

After a long, hard discussion with my family, friends, and of course my church pastor I am here to announce that Chris Sybille has made it his intention to pursue a professional football career with the NFL. That's right bitches, I am declaring for the 2006 NFL draft. I have contacted the NFLPA (NFL Players Association) for full details. My declaration will be made official this week. Since I didn't play collegiate football at the University of Texas, or any other level of organized football for that matter, I'm going to make my tryout tape tomorrow during the Stella Link Flag Football Classic. Stay tuned for more information. I will also try to post the video on the web for all the world to see that I am better than Reggie Bush. I just need to grow 5 inches and put on 60 lbs.

In other news, Jeremy is up for an Emmy, or a rodeo award. Dude, I told you that girl was big. But at least you held on for 8 seconds....hahaha

End of a Dynasty

Amid an otherwise wonderful evening celebrating Logan's 25 years of service on this planet (thanks Phil), I was apprised of a tragedy. As six of us made our way through downtown, we happened upon my once-favorite place, club 410, and found that, well, it sucked. Everything had changed. The bartenders were all different, it wasnt crowded at all, the people who were there were a little weird. I was sad. 410 was the spot for me when I first moved here. It was where I went the night of the Super Bowl to party. I had some good times. I even talked to the owner one night about buying a portion of the equity in the place - an investment of sorts. But on this night it was empty. Perhaps it was because of the weather (40 degrees or lower), or perhaps it was because the place really sucked. I dunno. Anyway, my friend Beth works somewhere else now, as do most of the other bartenders. They don't do lingerie nights frequently anymore, which sucks. And the swing hardly gets anymore use. Oh well. I just need to find another "spot" to get my dance on, another bartender to hook me up with drinks, and all will be right in the world again. Tomorrow I am going to the Texans game, to watch is lose to the Arizona Cardinals, but then we are playing flag football afterwards :-) Then I will hopefully go out to a party which will conclude a sweet 25th birthday weekend. Happy Birthday Logan, may this 25th year be the best of all!

The Best Wurst

The title is a double entendre (I have no idea how to spell that word). It is the name of a bratwurst stand on 6th street and is also the main idea of the posting today. I am here to discuss what I think are the best and worst bowl games of this holiday season. Apologies to those who I have hurt and peed on by slamming your schools (Phil, Matt, Les, etc.)

These are my two best games of the bowl season:

#1 Best: The Rose Bowl - Texas vs USC: This is basically a no-brainer. SC has the longest winning streak in the country. Texas has the second longest streak. Combined these teams have won 53 conescutive games. All three Heisman finalists (a.k.a the three best players in the country) will be on the field. Texas and USC combined will have more All-Americans on the field than will any other bowl game this season. Need I say more.

#2 Best: The Peach Bowl - Miami vs LSU: Most would agree that this could have been a Sugar Bowl or Orange Bowl matchup. If LSU doesn't get clobbered by UGA and Miami doesn't fuck around and lose to Georgia Tech and goes on to beat V-Tech again in the ACC championship, this game would be paying out $28 million instead of $6 mil. Both teams have impressive offenses (yes, Miami can score points). This should be a great defensive battle, as both teams are in the top 5 nationally in total defense.

These are my two worst games of the bowl season:

#2 Worst: The Champs Sports Bowl - Clemson vs Colorado: I don't need to say much about Colorado. They were outscores 100-6 over their last two games and will not be with their head coach, who was fired shortly after the Texas massacre. The team is slumping and has no need to show up for this. Clemson is playing with a hurt QB and underachieved this season. However, they come into this game riding a 3-game winning streak. This could get ugly for CU really fast. Luckily, I won't be watching.

#1 Worst game of the bowl season: The Fort Worth Bowl - Houston vs Kansas: My apologies to those who root for these schools. I'm sure you'll disagree. Both of these schools come into the game with 6-5 records, bowl eligible only because they had wins over 1-AA schools. This should be called the Fort Worthless bowl. Houston should be motivated to beat a Big 12 school, but Kansas simply has no offense. This should be boring.

Zero Tolerance Policy

If ever I experienced proof that my post-college drinking tolerance has significantly decreased, it was this evening. After a long day of doing basically nothing, I looked forward to joining my friend Jenni at Los Cacos for $1 margaritas on Tuesdays. That's when it got ugly. I kept up with her for the first one. She quickly downed her second and proceeded to begin sipping her third while I was midway through my second. I finally made it to my third when she began her fourth. I only got 1/3 of the way through my third 'rita when I had to throw in the towel. The delicious spinach enchiladas I enjoyed along the way were crowding out space in my stomach. Jenni kept on trucking and downed her fifth. I was impressed. And a little embarassed. Seriously, when was the last time I was outdrank by 66% (her 5 to my 3, 5/3 = 1.66667)? The answer- only once, during a ragingly alcoholic trip I took to New Orleans when I was a sophomore at UT. I attempted to keep up with three guys who averaged 6'4 and 200 lbs. I was way in over my head.

So, I have concluded I have no tolerance, and since I need something on which to focus my energies these days, I have decided to cross train for drinking. I am going to have a liver expansion surgery as well as a stomach expansion. The result of both procedures should bode well for my prospects of never being outdrank like that again. My threshold is 10%. 66% is a bit much.

In other news, I went to the store and bought some grape juice today. The funny part is that I only remembered to get one of the items I actually went there for. I also forgot my digital camera at home, so I was unable to get a picture of some 2005 grape drink. Not to worry, faithful readers, I will post a pic soon.

And finally, I received word that the Rose Bowl tickets have arrived. I am the luckiest fan alive. I will have attended, for free, two of the biggest games this season. I don't really care now that I paid $275 for that Ohio State ticket. I will have attended 6 games this year, and gone to 3 of them (including Oklahoma and USC) free of charge. I am lucky. Very, very, very, very lucky. Or is it that I am well-connected, like the spider who rules the jungle?

Trojans are too small for Longhorns, bitches.

Skeet, skeet, skeet all over USC.

The Wave - LG

Since mid-August when I took that trip to Vegas, I have been riding a wave the likes which man has never seen before.  (try that again using the voice from Star Trek.) The ball has bounced my way ever since.  The last time my life hit a wave like this I was carried on the shoulders of my friends from the circle at center court to the stands at the feet my teary eyed parents. 

 

In October I witnessed the world series in texas for the first time.  I saw UT pound Tech for 30 bucks a seat.  I later found a ticket to Kyle Field for 40 bones the night before the game.  Paid 50 for a field level 10 yard line seat last weekend at the Big 12 Championship.  The Longhorns have sucessfully finished the railroad to the national championship game.  My basketball team is ranked #2, and whats this?  The seahawks have already secured a spot in the playoffs?  The seabags?  My favorite team since the days of Steve Largent.  This team has never been to the super bowl, never had home field advantage in the playoffs, and havent won a playoff game since the early 80s.  Not to mention the personal satisfaction I got out of watching the 'bags beat the expletive out of Philly on Monday Night Football.  What happens if none of these teams wins in the end?  Nothing!  The point here is that I'm loving every minute of having these opportunities to live vicariously through the athletes I support. 

 

Here's a notice to basketball fans:  The Houston Cougars are tough.  Saturday after the football game, I sat, for free, third row baseline, even with the baseline, to see the Cougars run over Arizona before the fans rushed the court.  It was amazing.  From the stands i had the priviledge of watching what I had done four years before.  I speak of the first 'court crash' in Longhorn history, the game versus Iowa State where I sat in a folding chair underneath the goal.  A seat which I camped out for before UT cracked the top 25.  Just watching the cougars do the same was a treat that I will cherrish.

 

In other news!  My 22 years young brother, soon to be graduate of texas tech, has proposed to his girlfriend of nearly 4 years.  He asked her the day tech slipped past oklahoma.  And no! He did not propose AT the game.  Fortunately her father taped the event, and upon further review she did say yes.  So congratulations bro!  May your love be true.

 

we're taking over this town.... .... lets go one more time around

 

Not Your Daily Vitamin

Roses Really Smell Like Bevo

The cowboys from hell are strutting into the City of Angels, and we're gonna turn it into a Texas-sized football party! Let's review the season checklist:

• Win the opener: Check!
• Beat Oklahoma: Check!
• Beat A&M: Check!
• Win the division: Check!
• Win the conference title: Triple Check!
• Win the national title: Coming January 4th...

The invitation to the Rose Bowl came moments after an industrial strength ass whooping that Texas laid down on Colorado to the tune of 70-3. I've seen Texas score 69 points, but 70 is a new high. I loved it. And the best part is that Vince didn't have a super stellar game. He was effective, threw for 3 td's, and was out of the game in the middle of the 3rd quarter. When it was all over, I was clutching roses, singing the Eyes of Texas, and planning for my second California bowling trip (in 2003 I went to the Holiday Bowl).

Well, two years later, I am going back to Cali, and I will still be fantastically well (or is it better than spectacular?). Logan will sport a bandana because Logan sports bandanas. Eric will find the secret 3-second route to the stadium because he's smarter than the GPS. And me, I'm just gonna drink some grape juice because Chris drinks grape juice...and beer.

I believe it is these moments that make life fun. College football history will be made regardless of the outcome of this game. Now I need a Michael Huff jersey and some jokes about USC...