It just hit me that I've been to a lot of different places over the past 12 months. The rundown (mostly in order, but not perfect order)
-Atlanta
-New York (twice)
-Newark
-San Francisco
-Chicago
-Kansas City (6 times)
-St. Louis (13 times)
-Phoenix (twice)
-Austin (5 times, about to be 6 this weekend)
-Houston (3 times)
-Washington DC
-Knoxville
-Cancun
-Playa del Carmen
-Cabo
-Crested Butte, CO
Pretty cool huh? :-)
As you all know, I love Michael Jackson. Despite his eccentricities, hearing his music will always bring a smile to my face. I saw this video of Matt Lauer taking us on a tour of Neverland Ranch, which included MJ's bedroom. Just watch this. Who in the world has a motion sensor to detect people 6 people away coming toward his bedroom (which would sound -- the joke being it was an "Adult Alarm" so he would stop touching whatever kid he was with), a freaking peephole in this bedroom door, and a TV monitor in his bedroom to see who's coming in? Unbelievable...
Since I've begun writing on this again (and tracking everyone who looks at this), I've noticed the predictable increase in readership, which is good. Although I try to identify everyone who reads this (as I know most of you), there are probably a number of people who I don't know that also read it. I say this because what follows should not be construed as an indication of my personality. In fact, it is probably the opposite of who I am or what I am about.
Anyway, a long time ago I had this friend, let's call her ABC, who I met in 2005 and became friends with. I was 24 and still pretty immature. Anyway, I thought she was a little weird (conceited, etc) and off-putting, but, in typical guy fashion, put up with it b/c of her looks (I finally learned through this person never to do that again). So we were friends for a while, my growing ever more tired of her personality, and I finally couldn't take it anymore. So, I went to unchartered territory (for me, at least) and ended the friendship. But, since I've never believed in screaming matches or just a total, random cut off of communication, I wrote ABC an e-mail. At 3:05am, after a night of drinking. This is what I wrote...
From: Christopher
Sent: Wednesday, December 19, 2007 3:05 AM
To: ABC
Subject: Regrettably...
ABC, regrettably, it has come to my writing this e-mail. And I write it (versus speaking it) because I believe you should look at this 2 or 3 times before deleting it. I think you’ll learn a lot and truly acknowledge my position by doing that. I don’t expect you to agree with everything in this message, and I honestly don’t care if you do. Although I find it very odd that you have the audacity and gaul to literally ask “what did I do this time?” after what, in my estimation, was an extremely selfish and divisive performance (which my other friends were subjected to, mind you) Monday evening, somehow I am not surprised, as this has become your modus operandi of late and I have tired of it.
By now you’ve guessed why I am writing this. I probably (lord knows I’ve tried) clued you in a few weeks ago at the Tech game, but I have determined that our ideals and approaches to friendship, class, and the general way we treat others are not congruent. In fact, they are divergent (and, as scary as this may seem, maybe even polar opposites). It is for that reason that I can no longer be friends (whatever that word means to you) with you or a close associate.
Before I delve deeper, I will say that I believe that somewhere deep down, you have the capacity to be a great individual. Fundamentally, I believe you would like to be a good person, free from “drama” and otherwise petty conflicts that complicate life, mar friendships, and generally cause unnecessary stress in life.
What follows is a scathing critique of you and some of your recent actions. This is not meant to be an indictment against your personal character, but rather an illustration of how our principles and views differ.
Last night was the last straw. I thought your fake “family emergency” (which turned out to be a boldfaced lie) was the last one, but somehow I generated a bit of compassion and gave you another shot. And you screwed it up. Again. You put me in an extremely unfair position by forcing me to “choose” between yourself and a good friend of mine. Under the presumed consequence of you leaving the bar (which, in retrospect, I shouldn’t have cared about), you purposefully and maliciously manipulated me into completely ignoring a good friend of mine. That is unfair to me both to me and also to my friend. You should never use a 3rd person as a pawn in your own little scheme. That is disrespectful and downright mean. The fact that I was your “date” to that party was irrelevant. I talked to many other females, yet you only got mad when I talked to a specific one. That’s unfair, childish, and unnecessary. ABC, I know your game. You should know that I am currently 35 times smarter than you will ever be (and I have all the academically-related statistics to prove it), and you shouldn’t think I’m being fooled or buying into your bs. So, you have made me “choose” between yourself and the other girl, and I choose her. I hope that’s clear.
I generally think you’re a little crazy. Not medically crazy, but socially just a little off. I find it very strange that you think one person (said female) is out to get you. That in itself is totally narcissistic and a little selfish. And I have seen this enacted over and over again. Pretty much since October 2005 when I first met you, there have been actions you have taken that have given me small clues into what you’re about. This thought was confirmed over Halloween weekend when you flipped out on the girl that was supposedly your best friend over something as petty as an innocent kiss from a boy.
I’ve already said too much, so I will not continue this monologue. I could go into all the details about how we’re on different maturity levels, or how I think you’re probably super insecure and how that impacts the decisions you make or the choice of people you associate with, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Again, you aren’t expected to agree with everything, but rather be able to comprehend (not empathize, just comprehend) my position. I wish you the best of luck at your new job in Austin, a safe move to this wonderful city, and a good holiday season.
Do not reply to this e-mail. I seriously am not interested in your retort.
Regards,
Chris
Most of you probably think this is pretty mean, and I probably can't blame you given you don't know the backstory. The truth is it took a lot for me to do something like this. Sometimes I think I am too forgiving and never thought I'd put something like this together, but in the end it probably worked out for the best. The Cowboy from Hell, Big EZ, and a few others could probably tell you more about those episodes (at the football game, etc, which were really funny in a strange way), and I'm happy to give the backstory to those curious. As bad as this may seem, I think this is some of my better pieces of writing (you all know I like to write). Hope you guys have enjoyed reading this.
I want a bomb pop.
At the strong request of GK -- who I am almost certain had her sweet 16 birthday party when she was 14 -- I am storming to post more material. I really do like it when people implore me to write stuff. Maybe they're just bored at work. (Actually, there is a 74% chance they're bored and just want to read something)
Anyway, I was so depressingly bored last weekend that I partied in Frisco. I can already hear many of you asking, "What the hell is wrong with you?" And that's a fair question. The answer, is that I elected to hang out with friends I hadn't seen in a while. This is the upside to boredom. You reconnect with old buds and act like idiots, which most of us are pretty good at.
So anyway, I make the long drive (Frisco is like 26.2 miles from my apartment) to meet up at the Laredo Cantina with a couple friends. One of the girls, I'll call her Team Asia, seems to know every bartender in the place. Our waiter, a cordial fellow, is obsessed with her and relentlessly keeps feeding our whole table drinks (put a pin in this, we're coming back to this later). Never one to turn down a free drink (hey, girls get this all the time, I hardly ever get drinks bought for me), I keep throwing them back, totally forgetting how I am going to get home that night.
At some point we decide to leave and head over to this place called 2 Brothers -- correction -- II Brothers -- also in Frisco. This place had the most confusing social scene I've observed in a while. You had what I am calling your North Dallas D-bag (out of shape, uncool guys wearing tight screen printed tees, or a black shirt with a rhinestone phoenix rising from a fire pit -- you get the point) hanging out with pretty hot girls with too much makeup. Then you had the old guy sitting at the bar checking out girls half his age. You also had the average looking chick chain smoking in the corner, feeling guilty about leaving her 2-year old alone at home by himself.
But, ever one to take advantage of the scene, Team Asian broke into that place like a DEA raid in the projects. As soon as we walk through the door, she sprints to the bar where she (evidently) knows all the bartenders and starts ordering drinks. We proceeds to drink a TON. Beer, shots, more beer, margarita, more shots. At some point I decide to order food (which I got arrogant about and told JT I wasn't paying for -- hehehe) to soak some of this stuff up (thank goodness I ate mexican food earlier). Balloons are hanging up all over this place b/c there was some sort of celebration (Rick James) going on. It looked like Chucky Cheese.
Much of the night escapes me. I vaguely remember some woman (cougar-age...oh yea, there were a ton of coogs in this place too) telling me she liked my hands and this other lady screaming at me when she was talking to me. It was like she was listening to a Walkman (or iPod) and had to overtalk to compensate..it was weird. I concluded she was crazy.
I don't know if I'll spend much time just chillin in Frisco, but I am glad I went. If nothing else, it provides for a good story.
And I almost forgot, thanks to the efforts/connections/charm of Team Asia, I didn't spend a dollar all night. Booyah!
It's about time I got back on this horse. I have a lot to talk about too. Anyway, this is a recap of my day today. All of this is true:
-wake up at 3am bc I can't sleep and couldn't go back to sleep
-drive to airport for 640am flight-sit next to lady on the plane who is wearing one of those light blue medical mask things you put on your face. She is old. She is also asian. I am thinking she has swine flu. I become nervous.
-it is raining (a lot) in st louis. Neither BEL nor I brought an umbrella. My hair gets wet. My hair should never be wet.
-guy in our second meeting is telling us about his business. He says his product is selling like hotcakes (I can't make this up). Somewhere, I see you cringing and doing something weird with your nose.
-on the way to lunch, my shoe breaks -- as in, the part where my foot goes in detaches from the sole, so I'm just flopping around.
-BEL suggests "gluing" it together with bubble gum.
-the only gum I have is big red. So I chew some up and stick it in between the foot part and the sole.
-it doesn't work. In fact, it fails miserably. The gum (which is red) is compressed by my bodyweight on the shoe and starts seeping out the side of my shoe. And I'm back to flopping around again bc the gum is not holding.
-thankfully lunch is at a mall, so BEL and I go to a macy's and he sits there as I try on and eventually buy a new pair of shoes. I try to charge them on the corporate card. BEL says no. I'm thinking I feel like I'm with my dad. This concerns me. Anyway, I take my old shoes with me so I can get them fixed in dallas.
-thankfully my flight is on time, and my hair is dry
BEL is my team leader. we travel together when we go on marketing trips.
More to come. The blog is back.
