So I Fucked A Midget...

...not really. Sorry to disappoint, but do you actually think I would do some wacky, circus porn shit like that? I'm just trying to get your attention.

I title this post as such to illustrate the theme of this post: funny shit that's simply inappropriate to do or to make fun of. The humor here is largely sophomoric and some of it is downright wrong, so if you can't handle it then, well, fuck off.

Two events over the past few days made me chuckle...

Event #1: My friend Staci coaches a seventh- and eighth-grade girls basketball team at an Austin middle school. Many of the girls are playing organized sports for the first time, so it came with little surprise that they lost their first game 67-2. Reportedly, one of the girls even peed herself during the game. Chalk that drubbing up to experience, or lack thereof. So the second game came around and they lost 44-2. It started getting funny to me. I told Staci that her team averages two fucking points a game, and this ain't soccer. So yesterday the team had their third game, and I'm thinking they're poised to win. After all, they were playing the mighty girls from the Texas School for the Deaf. The final score was 44-17...Staci's team lost. I'm talking to Staci and I'm like, "dear, the other team was deaf, they could'nt hear." I know it's insensitive to laugh. So, in typical Chris wisecracking fashion, I suggested they play the Texas School for the Blind. She called me a "fucker."

Event #2: Selvin Young conducted an interview shortly after Texas won the Rose Bowl in which he bashed the media for "straight up disrespecting" Texas during the weeks before the big game. The funny part came at the end when he said the media didn't expect Texas (as opposed to USC) to stand behind the "podum" (as opposed to "podium") and receive the tropy. Might need to repeat English 301, dude.

Event #3 (added at 2:50pm Friday): I'm at a bar last weekend standing next to this girl while waiting for the bar tender. Her back is to me and I kind of feel her hair a bit. She turns around suddenly and I jerk her hair a little. She gives me a dirty look but doesn't say anything. Later on I'm back at the bar (after I had been drinking) and we start talking about some random shit. I tell her that I have to leave and we give our salutations. But before I left I told her that she needed to start using conditioner because her hair was brittle as hell. I thought it was funny.

In other news, does anyone find it funny that the picture on my Blogger profile links to the HotOrNot website? Or have no of you noticed? Well, the explanation is that I couldn't find any other free picture hosting website that I could link to.

And finally, I found this really cool interactive map thing that lets you see where everyone who reads this blog is reading it from. I've also started going back to my stat counter website and looking specifically where people are accessing this site from. I can see the exact city and state, even the ISP. Mostly people from Texas are looking at it. I've had a fair amout of page loads from different cities in New York, Massachusetts, Washington, Kansas, Arizona, and California. Then I've got some international hits from France and Norway. Pretty cool.