Kink

Just thought this was a cool picture...

Thank You

I never had to walk a mile in her shoes. No one ever thought two tired feet and a $14 fine could change the world. But in 1955, they did just that. Her refusal to give up her seat on a bus after a hard day's work inspired a movement that marked one of the largest and most successful challenges of segregation in U.S. history.

Her determiniation never to be humiliated again like she was the fateful day in October 1955 sewed the seeds of the Civil Rights movement that ultimately ended segregation and began to give blacks a rightful place in America.

Rosa Parks died Monday in her Detriot home at age 92. We should all stop to think about how lucky we are as a result of her civil disobedience. Most of us wouldn't have done what she did. Because of her, we won't have to. Thank you, Mrs. Parks.

Whats this? - LG

Ha Haaaa! whooooo! (imagine the nature boy rick flair) whooooo! Yeah
son! Let me celebrate a minute, world series coming to my city. Texas
has never hosted a world series. The rangers started in '61, the colt
45's (the astro's name before the astrodome) in '62. Astros! Roger
Clemens (hook em), petite, oswalt, backe, biggi-oooo, berkman, willie
t, burke, wham-bam thank you lamb, i can name them all. This team was
15 games below .500. Only the '15 braves were worse and still made the
playoffs ... then won the world series. Do you know how happy i am to
see this team in the series? i must have watched all of over 75 games
and most of more than 120 games this year. I saw the 3 games that
dropped us to 15 below and the two after where we won a few. I'm not
bragging here because obviously i sat around a lot, but to stick with
something like that and come out on top is unbelieveable. The Stros
are holding two absolute locks for the Hall, one more thats as good as
gold, and a number of other guys well on their way. This is my citay.
Welcome to my citay! if you could only see the jig i was dancing as
the team danced busch into just a memory. This is how you beat your
demons. This is how you break out and end 43 years of dead-ends. You
go out and beat your rival. You go out and turn the tables. If you
watched the games this week you saw the cardinals, not the astro's, in
fear, the cardinals making the errors, the cardinals sweating in the
batters box. Beating the cardinals for an astro's fan is like drilling
oklahoma for us horns. Nailing the cardinals in game six of the NLCS,
winning the last two and 4 of the last 5 in busch to close it down is
beyond words. "Yeah remember how much fun we had in Busch? that
stadium was great" Ha Haaa! Suckas! We closed that place down! Only
two teams have played their last home game ever in a stadium where they
lost the deciding game of a series. Welcome to the club, ye 'red
fowl'!

Now! Bring on the black sox, i mean white sox. The last time the
white sox made the series, the black sox threw the series. Mafia pay
offs. The white sox organization has been punished, cursed by their
foul play and dispicable actions. Since then, they've made the series
twice, back in 1959 when they lost and in 2005. Here's to the
resurrection of demons past for the boys of the south side. May your
misery continue. May the south side franchise rot in the annals of
lore. No man alive should remember a time the white sox were champs.
Players have thrown games before or shed points (devils) but these guys
threw away the gold. Many have played long careers and never had a
chance to play the series. Many have made it, some more than others,
and have walked away empty handed again and again. You play the game
to be the best. You bust your ass to win the big one. To blow series
was a crime against every man that has ever tossed a ball to himself in
the backyard pretending to be in the bottom of the 9th, staring at
Nolan Ryan, full count, two outs with the bases juiced and you're down
3. I happen to be one of those men. Go Stro's!

'and the earth becomes my throne'

The Greatest Game

I am lucky to have been alive during the past 16 years in sports history. In the collegiate footballing arena, I've witnessed four of the greatest teams in history, the Oklahoma Sooners of recent years, the USC Trojans of this year, and the Miami Hurricanes and Florida State Seminoles of the 1990s. In pro football, I saw the great 49er teams with Young, Montana, and Rice. I saw the Broncos with John Elway, the Browns with Bernie Kosar and Ernest Byner, and others. In the early 90s, I watched the Fab Five matriculate at Michigan, the Grant Hill and Bobby Hurley show at Duke, Larry Johnson, Stacey Augmon and the basketball juggernaut known as the 1989 UNLV Runnin' Rebels...

As a corollary, I've seen some of the greatest games these teams and others have played, such as Virginia Tech-Florida State in 1999, 2001 Oklahoma-Texas, 1993 Michigan-North Carolina in the Final Four, the 2000 subway series World Series, the 2000 Rams-Titans super bowl, and, more recently, USC-Notre Dame of 2005 and and 2005 NLCS, which the Astros won, but I'll let Logan discuss that...

But once in a while, I witness a game so remarkable that it puts the great games of the past to shame. This post, my friends, is my account of the greatest game I have ever witnessed; the greatest game I have been a part of.

The setting was glorious. Austin, Texas. Early autumn. A cool, brisk 68 degrees. National television with Brad Nessler, Lee Corso and Kirk Herbstreit in the booth. Texas in its beaufitul burnt orange. Vince Young leading a virtually unstoppable offensive attack that makes defensive coordinators weep. The unlucky victim for this game...?

...the Brown University Bears. That's right, Brown. Ivy League. No athletic scholarships. 150-pound linebackers. Midget wide receivers. The double-wing, option-run offense...Aaron Harris, Derrick Johnson, Michael Huff, and Cedric Griffin must have been licking their chops.

Yes, young grasshoppers, I am talking about a video game I played on my PlayStation 2 today. As Brad Nessler welcomed me to another presentation of NCAA 2005 college football brought to me by EA Sports, I could feel that this game would be special. I felt confident. My fingers were nimble, my cushion was comfortable, the A/C was on, a large, cold, glass of grape juice (as opposed to grape drink, which is comprised of sugar, water, and of course, purple) lay next to me. I was ready.

A strange feeling of anger came over me as I prepared to play the game. I didn't just want to beat the Bears, I wanted to maul the Bears. So I quit the game and changed the quarter lengths from 4 minutes to a full 15 minutes. Yes! I get to fuck with Brown for a full 60 minutes. No commercials, just offense. Pure, unadulterated, relentless, offense.

After Brad Nessler re-welcomed me to another presentation of NCAA 2005 college football brought to me by EA Sports, I settled in for what would be the greatest 2 hours of my gaming career. What ensued would become the most glorious, passionate ass-whooping ever administered by one college football team to another on the field. I wanted to run up the score on these fuckers. How dare they step into my stadium and challenge me to a game! I don't care if I did select them as an opponent.

I had one thing in mind - offense. I audibled my receivers to fly patterns (translation: go deep) every play. I ran hail mary's for the hell of it. I went for 2 point conversions after every touchdown. I kicked onside after each touchdown. My defense was impeccable. I threw downfield every play...

The Bears never had a chance. I took a chainsaw to the once-vaunted Brown defense. It was a massacre on the field. The evidence is below.

Key offensive stats:

-Vince Young: 66/99 for 2266 yards (~ 1.3 miles) and 45 touchdowns, 2 sacks and 1 INT
-As a team: 59 first downs, 2296 total yards of offense, 53/61 on 2-point conversions, 61 touchdowns scored (all of these new single-game NCAA records)
-Selvin Young: 49 punts for 606 yards and 9 touchdowns

Key defensive stats:

-As a Team: forced 13 turnovers, including 9 interceptions (5 returned for TD's), 7 sacks, and a combined 6/72 on 3rd and 4th down, held Brown to 319 yards of total offense

In the end, EA sports stopped taking score when it got to be 255-0 (3 minutes into the 3rd quarter). The stats kept rolling, and I took score by hand. When it was all said and done, the Texas Longhorns defeated the Brown University Bears 479-0, in what will go down in the annals of history as the greatest performance ever by an athletic club.

After the game, I watched the Astros win the National League pennant. Logan, you have to write about the Astros.

Was I Ready? - LG

Finally, five years of cotton depression has turned. Oh the glory of
beating Oklahoma! Chris knows this, but he has a knock in the nuts
coming. I told him before he left. I told him in a text as Rod Wright
ran 70 yrds for a touchdown. I told him as I welcomed him back to
houston while the astros clinched the division series. He's getting a
knock in the nuts. Now, before the aggies and nay-sayers say anything.
I know we were suppose to beat OU this year, but hear this ags. One
day, you will know how it feels to break a 5 game or longer streak to
your archrival. Until then...ah, silence.

As for me I had the distinct pleasure of standing as a groom's men in
my friend Wiliiam's wedding. Hands down the best man of my generation,
Will was the one I took to stacie's with me as I gathered my goods.
I've known him since i started playing soccer (the first sport a kid
has the attention span to play). He's the one I 'rebelled' with when I
strew trash accross an exes lawn. He's the one that showed up first to
my bedside in the hospital. Remember your best friend through high
school? He was it. All that and I had never seen him as happy as I saw
him the past few weeks. It begs me to ask the question: was i ready?
.... tough call.

On to the wedding (here comes the sap). Beautiful wedding. The bride's
maids were all dressed nice. The groom's men were pimped out. I must
say, I looked 'so fresh and so clean' that day. The brides and groom
were all dolled up, and in mind i had to think 'football, football,
baseball, footba.., base.., ...'. Everytime i stopped, my lip started
to curl and tears welled up in my eyes. The first wedding i'm in, and I
paid the least amount of attention to the proceedings. Hello! Two weeks
from the day, it was going to be me front and center.

So, was i ready? No. I wasn't ready to get married. After seeing
William and how happy he was, i wasn't ready. But would I have been?
who knows now, i'm not that worried about it. The point is this: i'm
not gettin married! We'll never know, and unlike the last time I asked
myself what might have been (here's that reference to a certain someone
you hugged at graduation only to hate again), I will never attempt to
see what might have been if i was, in fact, ready as I had once
believed.

Hey wally! remember that healthy pile behind bevo? Revielley does.

one for 'air will'... "I can't remember anything / Can't tell if this
is true or dream"

Dallas

I find myself more excited than normal to write this post. I know some of you loyal readers are craving for new material here and I am more than happy to oblige.

This past weekend I made the trip to Dallas, Texas for the annual Texas vs. Oklahoma football game. The 100th game in the rivalry was played this year. As is custom in my book for Friday night, I went to the Across The Street bar with my friend Eric. As usual, it was a great time. 1,000 Longhorn fans clad in burnt orange and $2 pitchers is my kind of atmosphere. However, the bar got cheap on us this year. Normally the pitchers are Dos Equis (yes, $2 Dos Equis pitchers), but Coors was on tap this time. No matter. I picked up the cover charge and Big Easy (one of my nicknames for Eric)..because he's big (approx 6'4") and easy, like I guess most guys are, bought us 2 pitchers and we were set for the night.

I realized early on that I can't drink as much as I could in college. Halfway through the pitcher, I was damn near full. Seriously, I actually got mad at myself for considering the possibility of wasting cheap beer. So, in typical crunch-time fashion, I sucked it up and finished the pitcher. I thought I was gonna explode. Later that night (since I don't break the seal), I would take the biggest piss of my life. Man, it brought tears to my eyes...and a little warm bath to some shrubs. Anyhow, the bar was great. As usual, I ran into people I know. I saw my friend Chris who I had not seen literally since my senior year. I also saw my friend Noteel, a girl I attended high school with. She's doing well. I had not seen her since my junior year of high school - a full 7 years ago.

We left around 11:30 to head back to Eric's parents house. His little brother, Adam, had a little league hockey game the next morning, which we attended and met up with his parents. The all of us trucked over to the Cotton Bowl for the game. The atmosphere was crazed. You could feel it in your bones that this day was special.

We had the better team, Oklahoma was rebuilding, and most important of all....

We had Vince.

Texas crushed Oklahoma 45-12 and tied the 1941 Texas team for the largest margin of victory for Texas over Oklahoma. The game was incredibly exciting and filled with big plays. Vince Young's 64-yard touchdown pass to Bill Pittman, Jamaal Charles's 80-yard touchdown run, Rodrique Wright's 67-yard fumble return for a touchdown resulting from Brian Robison's sack of OU quarterback Rhett Bomar. I loved every minute of it.

Whenever I attend Texas games, I always over-exert myself in the process of cheering for my team. I always lose my voice by halftime. I have a habit of jumping up and down on big plays. I do the "hook 'em horns" on 3rd and 4th downs. I'm always yelling something and giving my own insight on what's happening on the field to whomever I attend the game with. By the end of the game, I am really tired. But it's so fun. And this weekend, I was exhausted after the game. But, like the Ohio State game, we stayed late in the stadium to celebrate while the team was still on the field. It was truly a great day to be a Longhorn.

Saturday night I hung out with a couple of Eric's friends. Then on Sunday I hung out in Plano with his fam before flying back to Houston.

I really enjoyed the weekend. I wish I had a digital camera to commemorate the weekend. If Texas wins the national championship this year, the commemorative dvd is gonna be amazing. Ohio State, Oklahoma, Texas Tech, A&M, Big 12 Championship, Rose Bowl and a ton of other highlights will make it a tough item to have.

Won't Get Fooled Again - Phil

On this date in history, September 30, 1955, Actor James Dean was killed when his Porsche 550 Spyder crashed head-on into another car.  Andy Warhol called him “the damaged but beautiful soul of our time”.  Also, in 1889, Wyoming legislatures approve a state constitution that gives women the right to vote, the first of its kind in the Western U.S.  Ladies, rejoice.

 

Like the minions before me, I headed out of Houston late last Wednesday night with the intent of traveling to Austin.  This, however, was no evacuation.  Granted a weekend reprieve by the grace of God, we were headed to ACL.  One night spent at a gas station later, we arrived in time to catch all of the festival we cared to see.  Do yourself a favor, get up, shower, feed the dog/cat and head to your favorite record store to pick up any album from The Decemberists.  Trust me, you will not be disappointed. 

 

Playoff fever is in the air, if you haven’t noticed.  (A mostly male disease contracted in late-September and sometimes lasting until early November; symptoms include loss of female companionship, increased reading of ESPN.com, and the constant use of the “previous channel” button the remote control.  For those with more severe symptoms please seek medical assistance, or attempt to self-medicate at your favorite watering hole.)  I don’t consider myself to be a bandwagon fan, but I’m driving the cart on this one.  Go ‘Stros!  Bruntlett Jihad!

 

This just in from the I.T. department – Don’t count your eggs before they’ve hatched.  Feel free to count them before you leave the grocery store. 

 

Enough for now, for those concerned the answer is “Yes, I am still alive”, and for those not concerned, the answer is “D – all of the above”.

 

Rock'N Roll Star - LG

I usually like to have a title first, but there can't be just one way
to describe this post without writing it first. Last wednesday,
Houston government officials decided to give me a 5 day weekend/holiday
courtesy of hurricane rita. So at ten till thursday, I joined the
ranks and files and fled to the first place that came to my
mind...austin, texas. Ha Haaa! Austin, Texas! I was extremely lucky
in the time I made, but o.. how I was mad to see, a young man, with a
back pack, waiting on the bus. I had driven, all night. I get 3.5
hours sleep to recover from the all-nighter before I threw myself into
a whirlwind that would beat me down as I am STILL feeling the effects.

The schedule for the next 4 days goes like this. Thursday night i took
full advantage of one hour and thirty minutes down the street. After
the recovery (1) I slid down the road to Zilker park...ACL in full
effect. For three days 120 thousand people (thats what i heard) walked
a dust bowl into the ground watching bands on multple, multiple stages.
Awsome! I walked around without a shirt for three days. Did not
sunburn!?! What? The scenery? Magnificent! A lot of Texas Talent on
the grounds, I will say that. When I was done for the day, I made a
trip back to Eric, Mike, and Tobin's place to clean up for the next
round. Friday Night? ha haaa (much more time to play with an after
party at robs) recovery(2)-ACL (its a fumble!). Saturday Night? Ha ha
haaa. (please, do not take me to the warehouse district and not know
where you want to go) recovery(3)-ACL. Sunday Night? Now I know that
I said '4 Night Bender' when I got there but no, no way can I pound
myself one more time. Damn peer pressure! Sunday night ended up being
the most intoxicating one of them all. Ooo, that one left a mark. (4)

I can't say enough about all the water I drank at ACL. Definetly kept
me in the best possible health for what I would be doing later. If
you've never been to ACL, do it. Even if for one day, do it. Allman
Brothers, Buddy Guy, Wilco, Blues Traveler, The Decemberists, Oasis,
Coldplay and the South Austin Jug Band (too bad they played soo early!)
Just some of my highlights.

Now, to talk about the 'fumble'. Saturday night Wally was a better
wingman than the Iceman. I come back from the beer run before Oasis
(so sweet) and Wally had me set up. Before it starts we're chattin.
Close quarters you know, a hundred thousand people trying to crowd into
45 ft from stage, 15 ft left of center(stage right). After the show I
hear the kicker as she's talking to her friend and friend's
boyfriend...'but he's leaving with his friends' ...{head shaking} ...
I have no excuses. I had the in, I had the connection, I got the vibe,
and nothing. I felt like a dog chasing a car. I had the car. "hey
uh....whats next?" Now I know whats next. But I balked. It did,
however, pump my ego a little. I saw the signs that some lady was
attracted to me. I had been topless all day and an attractive young
lady is digging on me? Ha haaa!

Cuz in my mind my dreams are real, are you concerned about the way i
feel, Tonight, I'm a ...

A Loss For Words

During a conversation I had with my friend Eric this past weekend, I mentioned that I find adult life (beginning at age 22, roughly the age of most college graduates) to be surprisingly boring and predictable. I remember Chris Rock mentioning that good relationships, for example, are boring in part because the couple talks about the same shit every conversation. Therefore, Rock says he'd want some fantastic event to happen (his example was being kidnapped) for no other reason than to have a new topic to discuss.

I say all this to explain the topic of this post...there is none. The past two weeks have been so uneventful that I am driven to posting random thoughts on here.

I thought about discussing politics given that at least 3 big stories are in the news (hurricanes, Roberts, Delay). But that would be boring, and I honestly don't know enough to provide more than an elementary level of detail on my thoughts.

I thought about football. But no one really wants to know why I think Central Florida will beat Louisiana-Lafayette on the road this weekend and win its second game in 18 tries. Well, no one besides Matt. But we can have that conversation tomorrow.

I thought about talking about my online sports betting hobby. However, I don't really know my audience here so I can't dismiss the possibility that some IRS Federales read this. And you can be damn sure I don't pay taxes on my winnings.

I could always talk about my women issues. But people read this to get away from their problems, not take on mine, so that's out of the question....for now.

So I'll ramble on about interesting stuff that has been on my mind lately...

Last night I had a small discussion with Brenna. I told her about my experience at Exodus, an 18+ club in Austin, last week. I mentioned that for the first time in a long time, a girl (bedies Les) grabbed my ass on the dance floor. I was overjoyed. She was pretty hot, too. 5'6, dirty blonde, skinny, nice face - definitely my type. But, I was with hotter girls so I didn't pursue it. I told Brenna that most girls would consider that sexual harassment. I told her she could sexually harass me anytime.

My friend Lindsey turned 22 the other day, and I promised to buy her 22 scratch off tickets as a gift. I am really tempted to say that I want a cut (say 15%) of winnings in excess of $1,000. But I don't know if that would be appropriate. I'll figure this out. Anyone remember the movie starring Nick Cage where he gives a waitress a lottery ticket because he can't tip her? Wonder if this will be a similar situation...

Double D sent me this link to a webpage entitled "Ode to the Nice Guys." After reading, I have decided to become less nice. Women, no longer will I listen to bitching about guys who have screwed you over. Sorry. Don't want to hear it...

"Bitch, you know what I want, hahahaha..." - Mr. Nice Guy

Rita

I went to Austin this past Wednesday to escape hurricane Rita. A good time was definitely had by all involved. It was good to see friends I had not seen in a while. I also met some new ones, which is always good. Partied a lot. Watched HD tv all weekend, which was sweet. I need to get HD.

Now its back to the grind of getting applications out.

I had to cancel my PF Chang's dining experience from last Friday, so I am rescheduling it for this Friday. 7 or 8pm. Any takers?

In other news, I learned recently that Geena Davis is starring in a new political drama in which she is the president. Are you fucking kidding me? Is anyone going to watch this?

Long Time Coming - LG

In the past month since Vegas, I've seen more of the inside of my
office than I have of anything else. Most people think tax season is
only before April 15th. Naw son! All those extensions that get filed
before then come due in September and some in October, so I've been
humpin it at the office. That, of course, leads to me having no desire
to look at a computer screen while I enjoy my precious few hours at the
house.

During these three to four weeks, I have had a few more interesting
experiences I'd like to share. To begin, people, do not talk bad about
someone else's family just because you're mad about the way things are
working out, especially when you are the person who put yourself, and
whoever else you dragged along, in your current situation. Some
background: When all this blew up, she wants to keep the families out
of it because its between her and me. "You are correct sir!" Now why
does the tune change and my family gets insulted. If you don't have
room to talk, do not talk. I believe she has no room. I also believe
that the person who gave her the 411 has no room to talk....hows that
high school student with your grandchild? In a fit of anger, I let her
know who was really getting the raw end of the stick.

Moving on, I learned another lesson to apply on the road from
heartache. My vibe has been off. I rib people alot and get joshed
back alot, all in fun. Some say I'm an easy target, but i bring much
of it on myself. For so long I have had no problems taking back what I
dished, until recently when I felt like I was in grade school again.
What I use to brush of my shoulder was now sticking me like a knife.
After a conversation with Dale, I called the pal at work to discuss
things. What I've come to understand is that right now I'm as
emotionally stable as a woman at the end of her lunar cycle, and I have
to let those around me know what is going on. Obviously the guy
understands and the weeks since have been much easier. Some of the fun
is still there, but I can really tell that he's been holding some
things back and I can't thank him enough during this time. Thanks
Michael!

A few things I'd like to touch on.......Boo-ya! The cowboys from hell
walked into the Horseshoe and struted back out. To all the UT 'fans'
that couldn't say we'd win....get a healthy wiff from that pile behind
BEVO. To all the UT haters who didn't believe or bet against
us.....eat it! OU and CHris Simms are the only two things that can
stop our machine.

"yeah i'm gonna break. i'm gonna break my rusty cage ....and run"

Ruminations

There's no storyline to this post, just a couple of random thoughts I had over the weekend.

First, my weekend was boring as hell. Allow me to explain: I get back in town on Friday at 2:30pm. I had an asshole cab driver from the airport, so I tipped him 50 cents on a 26.50 fare and called in a complaint to his company. Anyway, I don't leave my apartment until 9:30pm Saturday night. Thats 31 hours straight without leaving my 1 bedroom apartment. I didn't even leave to check my mailbox. I watched college football all day- literally. Then today (Sunday) I watched pro football. Also did a little work on applications. This week will suck because I was out of town all last week and made no progress the apps. I also decided to apply to UCLA today. I stayed in my underwear for 46 out of the 48 hours of the weekend. I also cooked myself two steaks, took 5 showers (mostly out of boredom), and washed my sheets.

Second, I spent the 2 hours this weekend not in my underwear at a party for my friend David. It was his 23rd bday. David is Colombian. I've met a lot of his friends. He had a party at his apartment, and I felt extremely awkward becase he had a ton of friends over, and they're all Latin, which is cool but for that they ALL speak spanich around each other. So feel left out and alienated. Anyway, I got drunk and left after about an hour and a half. I wanted to stick around, but I wasn't talking to anyone, and not having fun.

Third, I am going to PF Changs this upcoming Friday night (the 23rd) for dinner. Looking for someone (or more) to join me. If not, I'll have a table for 1 and a Newsweek magazine. 7 or 8 o'clock-ish.

-Chris

Epistemilogical Suffciency

Ms. Angela posted a rather pertinent comment to the Mr. Big post from yesterday. Apparently I did not pay close enough attention to Sex and the City (SATC). She's right. Carrie does always want Mr. Big, which probably makes this situation a closer parallel. But my pledge to all who read this is as follows: I happen to have access to all 6 seasons of SATC on dvd. Over the next 6 months, I will rewatch every episode so I don't make a mistake like this again. I will know my SATC like the back of my hand. However, I will still know college football better. Anyone have tickets to the Texas vs Rice game this weekend?

Honk if you like this blog.

Mr. Big

Ok, many of you are confused as to why I am still not back in Houston yet. I was supposed to return this past Monday. Well, here is the explanation: I am in Chicago hanging out with my ex-girlfriend. Yes girls, I am helping her in a time of need (i.e. not being a complete asshole).

Les is moving to France to work as an au pair, or nanny for us English speaking people, and she needs a work visa to be a "legal" worker while she is there. To do this, she has to submit an application to the Chicago French consulate because its the official consulate for her state of residence, Kansas. But thus far she's run into some hangups and we've had to stay a couple of extra days. So we've seen the sights, major museums, the John Hancock building (which is cool as shit for those of you who have yet to experience the skydeck). All in all it has been pretty nice.

I must admit, I do feel like Mr. Big from Sex And The City in his relationship with Carrie. I am basically the most magnificent dude on the planet, and my Carrie (i.e. Leslie) kind of comes in and out of my life. We dated, then broke up, then starting sleeping with each other, now I don't know. It's like we want to date but the girl (like in the real series) doesn't know what she wants. Strange.

Anyway, I hope to be back in Houston on Friday or Saturday. I'll catch up with y'all then. By the way, I know that people outside my Houston friends are reading this blog (Jenny, Tim, etc). Post a comment or e-mail me already!!!

Columbus, Ohio

For those of you who don't know, I travelled to Columbus, Ohio this past weekend for a football game between the University of Texas and Ohio State. My wonderful cousin Drew graciously offered me housing during my stay there. I must say, the entire weekend rocked.

As most of you know by now, Texas won. People, I had been to Ohio Stadium before, but I didn't experience the crazed atmospere before this past Saurday night. The stadum attendance record was set that night. 105,565 people packed in for what was the greatest game of the season thus far and what was probably the best game of all season. College football fans will understand the feeling I am talking about. This was awesome. I will never forget this game as long as I live. The Ohio State fans were rabid; downright brutal. I, as a Texas fan, was called everything from a rich pretentious Texan to a flaming homosexual (because, according to the OSU fans, only steers and queers come from Texas). I attended ESPN's College Gameday on Saturday morning, the game that night (I will post pictures soon) and Gameday Final after the game.

On the social side of things, I went out on Friday night to a place called Brother's, a big ass bar. It was teeming with Texas fans and a few lost OSU fans. Best part of the night: some random Texas fans offers to buy the ENTIRE bar drinks for 30 minutes. Word has it he ran up a $10,000 bar tab. Awesome.

Back at home, I partied with Drew a lot. It was tons of fun. I still can't believe Drew is only 18. I met her roomates, all of whom were cool as shit. Pretty hot too, especially Kim. Damn girl, you are smokin. I'm coming back in November. Drew should warn you...I am hard to resist :)

All in all, it was among the best 4 days I've had all summer. Drew, Kim, Alyssa, and Robin, thank you for having me. I loved every minute (although I don't really like y'alls parking situation; it's kinda fucked up), and I can't wait to see you all again soon! O-H-I-O!

Discovery

It's really late and I have to catch a plane in about 10 hours, but I feel the need to spread the good word. I recently happened upon what may be the funniest (if not most mysogynistic) website I have ever seen. TuckerMax.com is classic. Everyone check this out. Read the Austin road trip story. I'll post more stuff later.

For those of you who don't know, the University of Texas is playing Ohio State in a much anticipated football game this weekend. I have a cousin who will be a sophomore at Ohio State in the fall, and decided to visit her this weekend. I also have tickets to the game. Anyway, my cousin is 18 and lives in a house with 3 other girls, the oldest of which (whom?) is 20. Should be a good time. I'll be sure to log my experiences. I'll definitely drink alot. Combatively, perhaps.

Vegas

Vegas was a great time for all of us. You can find pictures of my sexy ass here.

I do apologize for the delay, as I have really begun to focus on my applications and they are taking up a great deal of time.

Speachless - LG

VEGASSS! vegas, vegas vegas, vegas veegas! I love vegas. Its taken
me a few days to write something down because...I just DO NOT know what
to say. ... ... How about Sunday morning? The intelligent man I am, I
got 2 hours of sleep Saturday night! I had never been so tired when I
woke up, drove to the airport, stepped on the plane. Luckily i
received another 1.5 hrs of shut eye. So vegas. I'm there five
minutes and I see ... (just cant write it, i tried). We show up to
Ceasars. Come on its Rome, the architecture of the buildings, the
statues, replicas of works by michealangelo and others i dont remember.
A tribute to the gods! Since our rooms wouldnt be ready at 9 in the
------ morning, we had to check our bags and make ourselves at home.
After a quick walk into the Forum shops (Pete Rose frequents the sports
shop there), we sat down and placed our first bets just before I heard
the first call 'Cocktails'.

"Soon we would both be completely twisted. But there was no going back
- We would have to ride it out." Hunter S Thompson R.I.P.

A quick run down of 'gotta check this out': check out the club 'Pure'
and for food 'Mesa' at Ceasars, go to the Wynn (just do it), if you
like exotic cars, go to the Forum shops, ride the roller coaster at new
york, new york, DO NOT eat in the restaurant of Barbary's, and a
personal favorite, do place your camera safely in the protective cover
BEFORE arriving into your room back home.

AJ! (Chris do the honors!)

So, all in all, the trip did what it was suppose to do. Despite a
received message from ... i had reached a clearing, three days without
all the BS. Sunny days ahead, for sure. However, upon reaching home,
she was still here. she's there when i go to sleep at night. she's
there when i wake up in the morning. But have no pity! Vegas
convinced me of my situation. You see things so clearly on the third
day of a binge. This kid is going places. This guy is on the runway
for life and taking off.

Chris, i owe you one. I did NOT want to dance with the grenade. I
finally sprout a pair and I dance with the grenade. BAD! BAD, wingman!

'come in here big boy, have a cigar. you're gonna go far'

The More You Know...

August 23, 2005 –On this date in AD 78 Mt. Vesuvius erupts, killing thousands.  In 1821, Spain recognizes Mexico’s independence, therefore opening the door for Texas’ Independence.

 

With the Fellows touring Texas’ westernmost province (Vegas), I figured it high time I log in and speak my mind on several issues, none of which are particularly interesting.

 First off, on college.  A wild and wonderful place.  Picking it up after two years is going to be really strange, but can it really be that hard?  The first four years I took more of a “hands-off” approach and yet still received a degree.  I figured, hey, why mess with a good thing?  Exactly.

Also, I want to know exactly what dogs understand in English.  Or Spanish.  Someone told me dogs have the relative intelligence of a 2-year-old child, but I’m not sure I believe it.   At least, I don’t know any two year olds that can stare out the front door for 4 consecutive hours and seem to enjoy it.  That or go crazy over the words “Scooby snacks”.

I’ve got some more prospective country song titles: “You Broke My Heart (But Your Brother Broke My Jaw)” and my new personal favorite “A Man’s Home is His Castle (And I Can’t Get the Drawbridge Down)”

This just in from the I.T. Department:  What if there are inhabitants on other planets?  Do their tabloids feature crudely drawn depictions of astronauts and spacecraft?  Do they produce documentaries about Leonard Nimoy?  These questions must be answered.

Finally, thanks for the insightful commentary, and the very friendly spam messages.  Good to know these words do not fall on deaf ears (blind eyes actually).  Keep them coming.  But not the spam.

That’s all I know for now.

 --“…It sounds funny I know, but it really is so, I am my own Grandpa…”

Vegas! - LG

Ha Haaa!  As most people I know are still sleeping off the night before, I'll be rolling up in Vegas!  Give Vegas the Ol Rain Man sweep...i hope so!  Its time to forget about all the bullshit and have the time of my life.  Its time to drink it up, play it up, live it up.  I need this like 'ben affleck needs acting school'.  I'm so excited I'm still up tonight when the train leaves for the airport at 6. 

Oh what to do, what to do?  What happens first?  I'll tell you what I'm going to do.  I'm going to sit at the tables about 9:30 am and order a screwdriver or a seven 'n seven are start watching my pool of money dwindle.  I've always heard that you don't gamble with money you're not ready to lose.  Thats right.  As the plane lands, I'm going to take out my wad of bills that I've set aside for 'losing' and say 'Tag, you're it!  When you're gone the gambling stops.'  Hopefully I do well and get to play till I leave, otherwise, I'm sure I'll find some entertaining times in the next 4 days.

 

'we were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold"

What is and What Should Never Be -- Phil

August 18 – On this date in 1227, Mongol ruler Genghis Kahn dies.  In 1920, Women are given the right to vote. 

 

It seems like only months ago that this whole internet thing started.  Today alone, hundreds of thousands of individuals will add a new post to their blog.  I, on the other hand, am making my first post.  Thanks Chris.  And Al Gore.  Let me first say that I am made very nervous by the fact that 10s of individuals will read my innermost thoughts.  Therefore, I will not give any of my innermost thoughts, only some observations, and maybe an innermost thought, but only if it’s nasty. Also, I will also not say “innermost thoughts” anymore for the rest of the post.  Here’s the titles to a few country songs I’m working on; “Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right (But They Sure Make for a Good Time)” is especially moving, but so is “(I Learned Everything I Know From) Guitar Tech” and its tales of booze, college, and roadies.  Country songs just sound better if they have really long titles (and half of it is in parentheses).

 

This Just In From the I.T. (Innermost Thoughts) Department:  There is something very dangerous about seeing someone else sleeping. There is something even more dangerous about not seeing someone else sleeping and then tripping over them. 

 

Anyway, if anyone reads this and wants to comment, please keep your remarks self-centered around this topic:  I Am a Complete Failure At _____________.  I’ll go first      WRITING .  Also, I would appreciate some unsolicited song titles, even though I just solicited them.  That’s all I know,

                                        Phil

 

p.s. I realize I said the “I.T.” phrase one more time after saying I wouldn’t.  “I Said I Loved You (But I Lied)”.   

 

The Coup - LG

Last night, finally, i got the china! Only because of my mother do i
mention that first. Along with it came the 'stuff', the camera
equipment, the photo album, cds, movies, my high school class ring and
a few necklaces i use to wear, and the cake knife. The cake knife?
Yes, the cake knife, with our names engraved on it meant to be used
'you know when'. what do you think i did? I sat in my room a few
moments to compose myself. i showed chris the photo album. Stacie put
it together for me for graduation. It pretty much chronicles my time
in college and does a damn fine job of it. Whole pages of the pals,
most of my favorite pictures in the same place. Ah, my stuff! Little
things that I had forgotten were over there. Those things you don't
know you have. My snowman stuffed bear, the last Christmas gift I will
ever receive from my grandmother. Relief and sadness at the same time.
it was liberation and degredation all rolled into one moment.

So, whats the coup? Last week I told stacie that chris and i would
show up for my stuff. Thats not good enough. She wants me alone for
several reasons. Once a reason, always a reason (one reason i'm not
looking back). Tuesday, i'm talkin to her again. Twice i get messaged
'i miss you'. Of course! Again, the reasons. Just me? OK! .... NO!
I don't show up. When she looks through her peephole its chris,
standing there holding her stuff. Look, there is one reason i said
chris was going with me. Emotionally, I can't do it by myself. She'll
be pulling with everything she has to break me. Induce me into some
sort of 'we'll be friends', 'we'll hang out'. So, play your games.
This old dog aint bitin. She wasn't going to let me do it my way so
lets see how she likes that. People, please do not mess with me. Do
not push me into doing something, i'm not nice about it. now i can
break out some of that aloe. it soothes the burn.

Chris deserves a round of applause. I asked him to do something that
shouldn't be in any mans best interest. I couldnt go. I couldnt face
her. I couldnt go in there, swap stuff, and see her cry. And chris?
he had to be the guy that she sees, standing outside her door when she
expects to see me... hats off to ya brother.

Today blew. Lame dream last night and bad news elsewhere had me
clouded . It got better about 6 or so when metallica started ringing
in my ears. So since i talked about parents, what we call life, and
metallica all in one..... (you'll love it mike!)

(not what i was listening to)
"Innocence / Torn from me without your shelter / Barred reality /
I'm living blindly"

The Friend Zone

After having been introduced to and having studied this topic for approximately 6 (starting my 7th) years, I need to state my position on the subject of friendly hook-ups, or fucking a friend, for those of you who prefer it straight.

In mid-September 1999, about 3 weeks into my freshman year at Texas, I attempted to hook up with a girl I had known since middle school. Now, for those of you who didn't know, I still wore braces when I entered UT, and I was slightly shorter than I am now (yes, believe it or not, I grew like 1.5 inches in college), so I wasn't exactly the prime physical specimen I am now (that's the smell of sarcasm, mofo) but I thought I was a decent dude.

Anyway, I was rejected on the basis that I was the girl's "friend." She spat out some bullllshit about how hooking up "would ruin the friendship," etc. Given my relative inexperience at the time dealing with the opposite sex (yes Dr. Brownstein, I know they're not totally "opposite"), I figured this girl just didn't find me attractive. However, as the weeks, months, and years went by, I found this to be a more common occurence. I was astonished. To this day, there are girls who simply won't do this on the assumption that the "friendship" would be harmed, etc. In my attempt to be an honest and decent gentleman, who might happen to want a piece of ass somewhere down the line, I have totally fucked myself and wound up in what I, and many others, call "The Friend Zone."

Ladies, this is horseshit. Complete and total horseshit. Look, if you're going to reject me, be real about it. Tell me I'm not your type. Tell me you have a boyfriend. Tell me you're scared of my dick because you heard it put a girl's eye out last week. Tell me you're on your fucking period for Christ's sake! DO NOT tell me you won't do it because you ASSUME it MIGHT ruin the friendship or because "I've known you for so long." What kind of fucked up logic is that? In an uncertain world of sexually transmitted diseases and general distrust of those we don't know, I would think you would WANT some safe, good, sex and not have to worry about the history of your partner. Don't get me wrong, we all have the occasional random hookup (see Team America - Fuck Yea post), but when it comes to the friend, we shouldn't be so quick to dismiss on that basis.

The entire "we're just friends, so I won't lay down with you" excuse is based on the assumption that after the cum shot, the girl becomes emotionally attached to the guy she slept with. .I refuse to believe this. Now, emotional attachment does change a relationship as it is the biggest difference between friendships and romances, but are you girls really incapable of having a good time and remaining on the same terms with the guy afterwards? I certainly hope not.

Some of you say that many times the guy changes and not the girl. I can certainly understand your argument. However, the reason why we hang around the people we do (i.e. firm our circle of friends) is because we have a lot in common. I don't think its a stretch to say that the personalities and ideals of the people in your group of friends are probably similar. That said, you probably have a good idea of how someone might react to an event like hooking up. And chances are, not a whole lot will change.

Off hand, I can think of 4 girls who were friends of mine before we hooked up. It's because neither of us bought into the patently false "friend zone" excuse and because we were very mature that we remain good friends to this day. No jealousy, no hard feelings, nothing. Just good, clean, fun. The other day a friend asked if it would be strange if we hooked up. I said it wouldn't. I'm mature. She's mature. It would work. I'm not sure it would actually happen for a few reasons, but I didn't reject the idea on the principle that I was/am her friend.

By the way, Samantha, I need those SATC dvd's back...


"Rack me, I am out..." -Clones on the Jim Rome show

Vegas

I'm really looking forward to this Vegas vacation. In some respects, this has been the worst summer of my life, in others, its been pretty decent. I need this. I really, really need this...

Texas Two Step - LG

This morning was rough, walking into work at 8:30 for an 11 hour day to
start a long week on the heals of a two night bender. For you veterans
out there, this was my first two-nighter in over a year, and Austin
made sure that the second leg was all that. Friday night at the Knight
looked dim as we walked up. Clockwork wasn't playin but we walked in
anyway. Thanks to my friend Rumple Minz, the night started quick and
turned into a large bar tab, but the time was great. Drinkin, dancin,
and just having a good ol' time. I have to hand it to Chris. Two
shots of Jager and go of tequila, followed my a swallow of the 100
proof schnapps. He was bound to end up leaning over somewhere. Once
again, I'm so happy my schedule said 'day off' on it.

A headache later I was on my way to the A,TX. I'm the type that loves
to hop. Drink here and bolt, "I know another place I want to get a
drink." With cigars in pocket, I was ready to fit my favorite drinks
into one night. Beers, Jagers, jello Shots at Cheers, a flaming Dr
Pepper at Touche's and the jager bomb to send me stumbling into the
streets. I was bound to be sitting in random places on the walk to the
car and drunk dialing all over the place. As far as I know, I didnt
call the one most of you would believe, but Sunday introduced me to a
few people who recieved my Dennis Leary meets George Carlin, "i'm so
wasted' phone calls. So I hear we smoked the cigars, another memory
given to me by others.

The highlight of the night: Amanda, the jager shot to end your night
was my pleasure, happy 21st! Tim knows how Rob and I treat friends on
21. Or would the highlight be smoking the cigar I don't remember?
Could it be the calls and messeges? Or just the time I had with the
crew living it up another night on Sixth? Whatever it was, the friends
I shared it with need a pat on the back for not cheesing out and showin
me a great time, reminding me of the friends I have and the times I
have ahead of me.

"now i ain't seen my baby since I don't know when, i'm drinkin burbon
whiskey, scotch and gin"

Mixing It Up

I want to get people's view on interracial dating. Clearly, I don't mind. I almost prefer it. I think a lot of people would do it more often but feel familial pressure to avoid it.

Anyway, what do you think? If preferred, e-mail me at cents45@yahoo.com if you want to keep the comments anonymous.

I don't know if any girls who are minorities read this blog, but I've always been curious as to why seeing a black guy with a white girl makes y'all mad. Les and I got so many looks whenever we went out. At first it kind of got to me, then I didn't care.

I hope this sparks some conversation..

Sunday

Sunday didn't begin well. I found out Leslie is moving to France. I found out through a friend. I don't even know if she plans to tell me. Truth be told, I'd like to see her once before she leaves, but that's probably not possible. Brenna suggested I call her, but I don't really want to, so I won't.

Anyway I spent most of the day with my friend Flor, who recently returned from a trip to Europe. Just chillin.

Went to Shadow Bar last night for my friend Myra's birthday. She'd been celebrating all weekend, so this capped it off. I like that place. There isn't the slightest notion of pretention there. There's also a lot of hot Hispanic girls. I was surprised. I met this girl named Maribel who is a songwriter last night. The girl was smokin. Didn't get her number. Should have asked. Probably would have gotten it. But I did also meet a lot of Myra's sorority sisters. They were cool.

I did have fun. This weekend has really started making me think about the whole notion of interracial dating. Clearly, I've got experience with it, much more than anyone else I know. That's the subject of my next blog.

New girls: 6 to 7
New digits: 1
Outlook: Well, there's always next weekend...

Saturday

I went to bed Saturday at around 4am, after puking my guts out on some lawn in Logan's neighborhood. I didn't even have a lot to drink. In this order, I drank: a Corona, a tequila shot, a Jaeger shot, another Corona, and another Jaeger shot. I've never been a believer in a proper order for drinking (i.e. liquor before beer and vice versa, mixing different liquors, etc), but apparently the liquor gods came out and made sure I learned the lesson. At least I didn't soil my brand new shirt I'd bought earlier that day. I suppose that's the bright spot.

Anyway, I felt like total shit all day. My body must have really been fucked because I managed to stay asleep until the afternoon. I still felt dizzy and had a terrible headache when I got up, so I ate some food. My stomach was still unsettled, but I had to fight through it. I started moving around my apartment at about 4:30. I made my way to the Metro station to catch the light rail to the stadium for the Texans game. We played the Denver Broncos, and lost 20-14.

Two things struck me at the game. First, the utter incompetence of the concession stand workers. I hate to talk about my own people, as most of them are black, but it is awful. It should not take 10 minutes to get an order of a prepackaged hot dog and a coke. It also should not take a long time to figure out that if the hot dog is $4.75 and the coke is $3.25, then my total is $8.00. No calculator, no group meeting needed. Fuck! And know the prices of the items, too. There's only like 9 things you can buy: 2 types of hot dogs, 2 types of nachos, 2 sizes of beer, and 3 sizes of soda. Memorize this shit! There's no need to ask your dumbass coworker for the fucking price every time. It backs up the line and makes me miss more of the game than I need to. Jesus this is fucking infuriating!

Second, I don't know what it is about football season, but it's like all the white girls in Houston just get fit and show their shit off at the stadium. Holy Jesus you are hot! I forgot I was with my parents yesterday and I found myself making comments about each woman who passed by. My mother said I had to stop. Ladies, the game doesn't even matter anymore, I just want to look at you. Anyway, after the game, I decided it was time to join 24hour fitness. So I am joining tomorrow.

The House threw a party Saturday night which was pretty fun. I didn't drink any alcohol because I still felt the effects of Friday night. I had a bottle of water and a few cups of Coke. There were some cool people there. There was this one girl, Francine, who was pretty good looking, but I'm not sure about her status. She's Mike D's friend, but I don't know what kind of friend she is. Don't want to step on Mike's toes. I felt bad because she really tried to strike up conversation, I just couldn't figure out how to make it go anywhere. Hopefully she comes around more.

I took Craig home and met Philip and Keith. Discussed some football and the Astros. Then I went home.

New girls: approx 4
New digimons: 0
Outlook: Not looking good

Mean Mugs

At the request of the house, I have decided to repost my pic. Everyone, this is what I look like:

Clarification

Everyone, please don't read too far into what I said. The last post was just to agree with LG's post. That's all. I'm fine. Though I do need to shave.

The Human Condition

This, a response to LG's previous post, is the 6th time I've cleared the screen and rewritten this post and I still don't know what I want to say. It's 3:44am (I've been working on this since 1:15). I don't know what I'm doing up. I'm sweating, my eyes burn from looking at this screen for so long, my hands hurt, I'm hungry, and I'm trembling. I'm listening to my new Jay-Z/Linkin Park Collision Course album. I haven't gone to bed before 6am for almost a week straight. And I can't sleep for more than 3 consecutive hours.

So what do I do?

Post to the blog.

I am extremely pleased to see Laura start her own blog. Despite her commentary, she paid us the greatest compliment by starting a post of her own.

I'm glad I met you.

The subtitle of this website talks about growing [up] in a strange world. I think LG's post earlier tonight perfectly fit that idea.

Most would agree that humans make friends and have relationships because of some need for companionship. You could probably say the same for most animal species. That's why we party, enjoy group activities, and live in neighborhoods. It's supposed to make us happier as people, help give us a sense of community, of belonging. It's intended to fill an emotional need.

But what happens when it doesn't? What happens when you have a million friends and still feel like your on an island all by yourself?

Many people have felt this. Perhaps the reason I am up right now has something to do with it. I empathize with LG's post. The nights suck. The drive home from work sucks (for me, any drive that I take alone). Any down time I have sucks. I live alone. My apartment doesn't feel inviting. It's not homely. It's four walls, carpet, and some appliances - a sterile environment. I know alot of people, but no one can solve that problem.

I hate the nights. I don't like going to bed. I'm used to falling asleep on the phone, hearing a certain voice at the end of the day. That's not there anymore. So I try to fill the void by talking to people on the phone during the evenings. I read a lot of books now, trying to tire myself that way. It used to work. Doesn't anymore. I talked to Brenna tonight for 47 minutes and 54 seconds tonight. Normally I would crash. But I can't now. That was 3 hours ago. I am wide awake searching for an answer. Like Neo in the Matrix.

Where's my white rabbit?

"Can't none of y'all mirror me back...Yeah hearin me rap is like hearin G. Rap in his prime...I'm, young H.O., rap's Grateful Dead...Back to take over the globe, now break bread...I'm in, Boeing jets, Global Express...Out the country but the blueberry still connect...On the low but the yacht got a triple deck...But when you Young, what the fuck you expect? Yep, yep "

Good Question - LG

Today I had lunch with Mario, UT guy at EY, a year behind me. Ahh,
Jason's Deli, a sandwhich and a cup of soup. We sat down with our food
and he asked me, 'how are you doin?' I decided to be completely
honest. All this talk about how everything is looking up. All is
well. I'm doing good. BLAH!! I told how I really was. I'm lonely.
I'm missing something that was there something that I was ready to have
for the rest of my life. I'm lonely without it.

I thought about this some after lunch. I hadn't thought about being
lonely. I live in a house with three guys, two old friends. Some old
friends have become closer friends, and all my primative needs are
being taken care of. I haven't acted lonely. Why did I just say that
I was?

I've come to this conclusion: If you want to know how you really feel
inside, look at yourself in the mornings when you get out of bed, look
at yourself when you're trying to go to sleep at night. What are you
thinking about on that drive home from work? This past month and half,
I wake up and I'm lonely. I try to sleep at night and I'm lonely. I
get off of work and I'm lonely. Time to break out some that aloe, like
Stewie tells Meg after he licks her tears, "your anguish sustains me"

Countdown to Vegas! 11 days!

"In your arms I was happy as a little boy could be"

Workin Man - LG

Today I thought about the conversation I had with my cousin Dale. I
turned my ears because I knew he was drawing from the experience of
having this done to him twice over. He said that digging himself in at
work helped him pass the time. Brilliant! Lucky for me tax is hitting
its busy season again. All the extensions we prepared earlier now need
the return. No problem. Over the past two months I have struggled at
work. I've struggled to keep busy. Keep my mind focused. For the
past 3 weeks I've been focused at work. When I'm sitting down with my
mound of paper work, I'm intent on kicking it back out. Its lovely
because for those hours I'm focused on something else. Then at the end
of the day, I feel good from a hard days work. So after all this, I'm
a better worker?

I'm starting to feel some of the "I'm better without you" feeling.
Things are still so great. I'm a young professional with things to do
and the means to do them. The beat of my drum seems to be slowly
moving back to center. The good days feel so good. Times like these
are why I will always wonder why a person would take their own life.
Even in despair, one day you'll have a good one. One day, something
will happen that makes the worst of them worth the life we live.

"Stunned by my own reflection It's looking back, sees me too clearly"

Sammy's

I met Evander Holyfield tonight.

The man's ear looks great. He's shorter than I thought he would be. Most celebrities are. Of course he had some pretty good looking babes with him, and a small entourage. I wish I had a digital camera. I thought about taking a pic on my camera phone, but it was too dark.

Anyway I was at a place called Sammy's. Sammy apparently was an old singer at the Gallant Knight. He, like MLK, had a dream. That dream was to have his own place one day. So he left the Knight and opened Sammy's. The place was packed. Too packed. I took Anca's advice and didn't wear a t-shirt tonight. Good thing, because I would have built a massive sweat.

I liked the music. I saw some friends who I hadn't seen in years. It was my friend Francis's birthday party. A good time was had by all. But my ears hurt. Those guys from the Knight ans Sammy's play some loud fucking music. Goodness. Anyway, it was fun. But I am sticking to the Knight.

New girls: 1
New numbers: 0
Outlook: A little shaky. The upcoming week is mildly critical. White girls, you perplex me.

An Awkward Situation

This is a random thought I had on the drive home from my friend's place today.

Invariably at this age when you meet people a natural question is what they do. Do they work? Are they in school? Etc. I am in an awkward situation. I hate having to explain - well, I just left investment banking and I'm not working now but I am applying to school but I don't know if I'll work because I don't really need to. Ugh. Frustrating. Anyone have any ideas how to simplify my explanation without sounding like a lazyass?

The Groove

The Gallant Knight with Klock Work on the stage is amazing. Hands down
the best times I've ever had in Houston have been at the Knight. And
last night I got tore up. Chris says he's never seen me that way. I'm
starting to find some more things about myself that I had forgotten
over the past few years. Dancing is fun and I like to do it. When
college started I was all about going out and dancing. I'm no Justin
Timberlake and I don't have a whole lot of moves but I've always
received compliments about the times ladies have had dancing with me.
For some reason I hit a spot where I wasn't as interested in dancing.
I'd rather sit to the side, post up and drink my drink. People would
try to get me to dance, and I'd tell them no, i can dance, but i dont
dance. The past two fridays at the Knight have really opened me up. I
cant help to think about why I stopped dancing. Why did dancing lose
its fun to me? Was it my dance partner?

Friday night served another purpose for curing my ills. Thursday night
Stacie called. I picked up. Still need to get the china. She of
course was thinking about me and wanted to check up on me. It was good
at first but we talked for entirely too long. Things got a little
emotional. So many times I thought about taking her for a ride. 'oh
yeah, i'll take you back....leave you on the altar' This aint my style.
She is still trying to talk me into something, not right away, but she
really wants me to keep it open. She knows I'm not over her. She's
right, but I told her that I was clear. I knew my situation and I know
that her and I will never have that relationship again. She doesn't
want me to be clear but its the truth. I had to tell her now. I'm
past all the anger with her. I forgive her for what she did. I will,
however, make no effort at reconciliation. She has to know this. I'm
not going to drag her through more than what she's given herself.

The Knight helped me in this way. I danced. I took my mind off of the
heartache, off of Stacie, and had a wonderful time. I didn't sit to
the side, posted up, drinking the night away. I mixed it up. I
fratenized with the ladies and had the after party at my house. I
don't remember some of the things I did but my room was messed up when
the sun came up. Hang overs suck but times like that are too good not
to have a little pain afterwards. Glad I wasn't the one at work by 8
this morning.

"i dont care what you do, i'm getting out..no nothing ever shames me."

The Gallant Knight

There isn't a need for a creative title to this blog. It is what it is. For the second night in a row, I should not have driven home, but I did anyway. No hook up tonight, but a good story nonetheless.

Logan convinces me to go to the Gallant Knight, this dive bar/club somewhere in Houston. I've been wanting to go for the past 12 months, and I finally make it.

This place rocks.

I couldn't believe it. I thought it would be some gigantic bar scene with a bunch of posers. Turns out the $10 cover charge really is a good filter. Logan picks up my cover. I love you man. There is a band. The name is Klock Work. I like Klock Work. They rock work. Like clock work.

I go with Logan's roomates Philip, Craig, Matt and friends Craig, Mario, Mike D (who is moving to Alabama soon - the outing tonight was in his honor), Laura, and Janelle. It's a good time. Mixed crowd, both racially and agewise.

I spat the initial stages of game to Janell. She wasn't really feeling it. But that's ok. I have a big ass pile of game to draw from. I'm pretty aggressive. My good friend Kristin calls me the 2nd most sexually agressice guy she knows. Second only to a guy who makes regular appearances on HBO's Real Sex series. Not much aggression tonight. There was a half black, half asian girl in the club tonight who was BANGIN'. I didn't know what to do. Froze up again. Dammit. Whatever, I'm rich.

I can't wait to hit that spot again. I was pleased to see the older women there. That's so hot. 34 year-old's don't fuck around. They give it to you straight. I like that. I lost my ring about a month ago. Tiffany silver mesh. I need another one. It's hot. I'm going to Austin tomorrow. Hook 'em, bitches.

Girls met: 0
Numbers: 1 - but it doesn't count. It was Laura's. Nothing against her, but I know who she is. No game spit to get it.
Outlook: I still can't believe I nailed an asian girl last night. That was a great moment in hookup history.

Poser

Women make the best wingmen. Hands down. They do all the work and they don't even know it. I shouldn't give myself much credit. I do talk a good game, but it's not great. It's better than that of Wes and Neahmiah, but it's not stellar. Oh well.

And yes, she knew the deal.

In other news I had 2 dreams last night. First, that I was back in my investment banking job and was put on a shitty project that would require me to be there all night. Second dream was that I was flew to Chicago and was attacked by dogs. Anyone care to explain this?

Team America - Fuck Yea

5'1", 105, bronze. Asian. Hot. Spicy. Exotic. Lisa, not Lisa Chang, just for clarification.

I had help, but it looks like the game is back. I had a wingwoman. The hot Romanian. I love you!! Holy shit. I have to excuse myself because I've been drinking and I type slow as shit. I'm also on the phone with my homegirl Brenna. I told her last night that if she were to draw her name it would be a perfect color spectrum. It would be like red to pink to white. Whatever, it's an inside joke.

Anyway, I'm at the bar. Sitting outside. Country music blasting in my ear. I feel out of place. So I start talking to this girl, who initially asks why I took so long talking to her. I say it's because I wasn't ready. She says I play it cool. I do play it cool. I am a smooth ass motherfucker. I spit game. She swallows. She says, "I'm going to close my tab, let's go inside." I think to myself, "It can't be this easy."

It is this easy.

My wingwoman leaves. We leave. I discover she's also 3 weeks out of a relationship. Her hood is pierced. I wreck. I come back. I close my tab. I go home and talk to Brenna. It's a great convo. I can't wait to go to vegas. Holy shit. I'm hungry. Leslie texted me tonight. She's sending my shit. The divorce is settled. I am sad.

I am human. I am recovering. I love you.

Mixed Emotions

A little history here. I met Les in the fall of 2001. I was an RA in the brand spanking new San Jacinto dormitory and she happened to be a resident. I liked her from the start. Don't know what it was, but I just liked her alot. It's almost a full 4 years later, and I still really feel the same way. I think about this girl a lot every day, but something has seemed to change recently...

I'm known to all my friends as someone who is always in control of his emotions. I rarely get visually flustered or openly frustrated. To be cliche, I am calm, cool, and collected. I'm always the person that tries to diffuse a tense situation. This isn't to say that I always avoid conflict, but I would rather disable a bomb than see it explode.

Perhaps it is because I've left investment banking and don't work now that I think about my relationship a lot, probably more than what is healthy. But part of me has actually started to get angry at Leslie. Even though I genuinely want to be very good friends with her, I get these extreme bursts of anger that make me want to hate her. I don't know what to do about that. One can see how this is frustrating. I want to know if this is normal. How in the world could I want to hate someone who I have liked or loved every day for the past 4 years? That can't be normal, can it?

I'm glad I dated this girl. I feel that I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to serious relationships. I'd dated girls before, but none of them were serious at all. Stupid, stupid relationships. I consider, therefore, Leslie to be the first girl I fell in love with - my first love fi you will. But inevitably I have to ask myself if dating her was a good decision or not. Despite the amount of heartache I have experienced recently, I have to say I am glad to have been with her. I liked getting her random gifts "just because." I liked going through airport security because it meant I would see Les shortly thereafter. I didn't mind being tired at work one morning because it meant I had a wonderfully long conversation with Les the night before. I didn't care that many friends spoke out against dating her because she was so far away. It was worth it. Every minute, every airline mile, every movie, every dinner, every trip, every shopping excursion, every evening stayed in, every mobile-to-mobile call, every piece of jewelry, every bouquet of flowers, everything. I grew emotionally and matured as a person. Some philosopher said it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

I have come to believe this.

Rethinking The Mission

Logan and I had a short chat yesterday about the direction of this blog. My initial purpose was to tell stories about meeting new women. The problem is that the opportunity presents itself generally 2 (maybe 3) days a week, so the blog would be boring. Then I decided that I would talk about relationships in general and get a second view from my friend. Now we've decided the best focus for this blog is no focus at all. This means it will be a forum for us to express opinions / thoughts on a variety of topics. It will be a journal of sorts. For my part, I have a lot of views on a lot of subjects, but there probably will be a common thread on the mechanics of successful and unsuccsessful relationships, because I feel like it's an important topic to me right now. I don't know what Logan plans to do, but whatever it is will be a value add to this blog.

Lessons in Life - LG

I'm a dreamer. I like dreaming. Love dreaming.  But sometimes they can really screw with your head.  I feel for anyone who constantly has nightmares.  That would be absolutly awful.  Most of time mine are great.  Sometimes I've had dreams that foreshadowed different events.  The way something happened was not the same but the end result was exact.  So I'm wary of dreams I have sometimes.  Obviously during these times my dreams are going to hit different nerves and last night hit a new one. 

 

Last night I was faced with how I would react when coming face to face with the scum.  The piece of trash that two-faced his 'friends' and did it so dispicable that many, many people think and know that he deserves an ass kickin.  He needs his ass beaten!  But we don't do that.  We are above men of his kind, if we can call him a man at all.  So, what do I do?  And that is what I thought about as I got ready for work and up to the minute I turned on my computer. 

 

I learned from my father in recent weeks, something he learned at church.  Mom has usually been the one to do the preaching (love em both), so this caught me a little of gaurd.  He said "You can't have reconciliation without forgiveness, but you can have forgiveness without reconciliation."  This answers my question.  I do no harm.  Although the desire would be strong when that day comes that we meet again, I would do no harm.  To forgive I would have to let my anger subside and I'm not ready to do that.  It's not going to happen in the near future.  The same can be said for my ex-fiance.  I mean her no harm.  She's done enough to herself, and if history repeats itself (which it does) she'll do it again...to someone else.  Kuddos to who ever knows the lyrics, let me know if you know the song.

 

"i'd rather be...i'd rather be with an animal"

Reality

It has been rougly a week since I started this blog, and in that week I have received a great deal of criticism (a little praise, but mostly criticism) on the blog. I have to admit that the criticism has weighed on my conscience. It's because I really respect the opinion of those who have expressed disapproval that I have decided to clean up the blog. You'll notice that Cruel Intentions part 1 and 2 (aka Sequels Are Always Worse) are now gone. Someone called it mysogynistic, which is clearly incorrect. No part of this blog supresses women, even in the least bit, and I'd challenge anyone to argue (coherently) that it does. Other criticisms have been that it's tacky, which is probably true. But the biggest criticism came from my friend Brenna...

I had a fairly long conversation with her last night (just over 3 hours), and we talked about the blog a bit. She said that if she didn't know me and read the blog, she'd probably hate me. I was floored. I'm not this type of person. Most of my friends know this (after all, they are my friends for a reason). That was the biggest incentive to refocus this thing.

Brenna also told me something that it proving to be a gigantic pill to swallow. She pontificated that it is virtually impossible to get over someone in any time period shorter than roughly a year. I respect and trust her opinion, so it's hard for me to say she's flat out wrong. I'd guess I'd like to believe that I am capable of getting over someone much sooner, especially since I buy into the notion that the best way to get over someone is to meet someone else. The problem is that the "someone else" could be the "rebound" person. Because of this, I have decided that I will not date anyone, because it would be incredibly wrong to lead a girl on as if you like her and know all along that she's just filling a convenience void. I still think it's ok to hook up with different people. Granted, many women tend to get attached (I really do think I am a decent looking guy and my personality is what attracts people to me) more easily than guys, so I would need to develop an understanding of the situation with any girl I wanted to get with. I really don't want to hurt people. No one deserves to be hurt because of something that I am going through.

Anyway, I hope this helps to set some things straight. I want more people to comment. Our friend Laura just mailed in a comment, which was very much appreciated.

Sunday Sunday Sunday! - by Logan

Today hasn't been my best. Although I have seen for the first time the San Jacinto Monument standing taller than Washington's in DC (Texas was once its own nation if you didn't know), my day has been clouded.

Last night I ran into one of Stacie's best friends from college at a party. Of course, she wanted to know how i was doing, and I obliged digging into how its done, its over. I stood strong and showed how things have to be. I cannot, for any reason, ever, get involved with her again. Now, this is the test. Can I talk about these things and still have a great time? I did! Surrounded by people from college that I haven't seen or talked to in over a year was a relief. With the Blazers I feel so much respect, the best feeling to me, the feeling that I am respected by those I respect. (Brother Blazers, you're all my heros.)

The trouble began in a dream I had last night while passed out on the couch, a dream rife with jealousy. I woke up in a cold sweat and loathed the night. For the better part of the day so far, my head has been clouded in thought. How could she do this to me? How does she continue to act so selfishly during this? How could I ever trust and love such a person again? Basically, today was another trip with heartache. There's more ahead, I know, but they all suck. I go back to what I told Priya "She doesnt love me. She's just feeling the lonliness from not having me there." I'll let Chris tell what he showed Priya if he wants. I leave with this: "Feeling that someone elses loss is greater eases the pain like aloe on a sunburn, but morphine type relief comes from female accompaniment. (better run to the store)

Happy Birthday CHRIS! Welcome to 24, may the first half of yours treat you better than mine."i may be shattered, a little scattered. what does it matter? no one has a fit like i do"

The Newest Member

My name is Logan. College friend of Chris, who has suffered the heartache, white male 24, a CPA and worth the time. Voted most friendly in high school if that means anything. I will be posting from time to time to give everyone another persepective, another personality to identify with. A quickie about my situation: On July 4th, the monday after I buried my grandmother, I found out that my fiance (wedding was Oct 22) was cheating on me, including the day we laid grandma to rest. I took my ring back and called it off. Due to the extent of the 'fling' and the actions of Stacie in the days following, even today almost a month after, I've come to understand that Stacie is NOT the woman that I'm to marry. I'm too good for her. I'm too good for that and I'm not the person to look down on anyone, except those that classify themselves as 'low lifes' through their actions. For my first blog, I ask you to define IRONY. Stacie moved to Houston to be with me (no other friends here) and cheats on me with a person i welcomed into my home as a friend..now I live in a bachelor pad (thank the Lord I hadn't moved in already) surrounded by friends and family all ready to come to my aid because of the atrocities committed against me. She is by herself, ALONE, in a city she's known only since October. For the road ahead. I'm one of the other guys heading to vegas so be ready beacause however emotional, raunchy (come on its vegas), fun, ect this spot will be 100% real for these are the words of two friends, living two degrees of heartache and running a savage burn through our mid twenties with no strings but our own primative needs. Food, water, a few hours sleep, and the need to be sexed. Hey, I was engaged but that doesn't mean I forgot how to seal the deal. (one deal sealed by the way, can't let chris have all the fun) And besides, who's to tell me that I can't get some for myself? i am i am i said im not myself....i'm not dead and i'm not for sale

Double Down

My friend Logan has decided he wants to be a part of this blog. So, of course, I am letting him post. Logan is a strapping young accountant for a major firm, and has a lot to share on this topic.

Urgent Message (The First Dissidents)

Most of you who read this probably got the link from my thefacebook.com profile. That's pretty much how I wanted it. You'll also notice that I have a little innocent line in my profile which basically counts the number of different hook-ups I've has since my breakup. At least three of you (maybe more) has taken issue with this, arguing that it is immature, the wrong way to handle a breakup blah blah blah. I have 4 comments about this...

1st, I would like to thank all of you for voicing your opinion on this. I figured this blog would not sit well with some (maybe many, but who knows), but thats a risk I am willing to take (by the way, if you really know me, you know I'm not like this)

2nd, I know what the hell I am doing. Yes, part of me is hurt so a natural reaction is to try to hurt someone back. It isn't best to fight fire with fire, but I choose to ignore that maxim at the moment

3rd, we ALL do this shit after a major event like a breakup. Don't bitch at me because I have the balls to write about it. Stop being a hypocrite. (this argument contains a naturalistic fallacy, for you lawyers out there)

4th, let's not forget that this is temporary. I beg everyone to read the very first post. So while it may be wrong, insulting, etc, on many levels, I intend to clean it up. However, remember that the blog is really meant to be funny and interesting as it takes me through my experiences meeting people. This is not meant to be some softcore get-all-up-in-Chris's-sexual-business blog. It's supposed to be fun.

Wild Wild West

This is a better post than the last one.

For the past week and a half, I have begun talking to my friend Brenna. Brenna is from somewhere in west Texas, but goes to a large university in central Texas. I met her when I was a senior in college, but didn't know her very well. We went to a foam party one night, and I found the new phenomenon (white women with ass) before Ludacris did. Even before I began to date Leslie, who I may add is also blessed with that feature.

Anyway, I never got to know her very well in college, but I knew enough to know she is a cool girl. So I have been talking to her about various stuff for a while. She is a great dancer, which I like because I have not met many women who dance very well. Good dancers are hot. White girls who are good dancers are hotter because you don't find many of them who aren't strippers.

My sexual/relationship psychology friend, let's call her Double D, says I may be trying to get into a relationship to get over Les. She's pretty right on about most of this stuff, and we agree on a lot, and I do think that she may be on to something. But hopefully I am not trying to replace my ex (though I will say I really have not ever met a girl like Les in my ENTIRE life, for reasons I do not care to explain here, but will openly share with anyone who wants to know). The verdict is still out on that one.

Brenna is accompanying me and two other friends in a trip to Las Vegas in August. Needless to say, I am excited. I really look forward to developing a good friendship with her and maybe more. If nothing happens, at least I have a good dance partner.

The Social Experiment

This entry is just weird, so read at your own risk.

Ok, so in what is perhaps a feeble and admittedly puerile stunt to meet girls, I have posted several online personal ads on various websites. Now, I have heard all the bullshit about how great of a guy I am, how any girl would be lucky to have a guy like me, how I am so sweet, cute, blah blah blah. All this, execpt I'm not her type. I want to ask sometimes, "Honey, what IS your type?" So anyway I thought it may be fun. So one of the sites (and this is where this post just gets weird) is an adult personals site. Some of these people are scary. Many women are pretty fucking hot, but I feel a little dirty (ok really REALLY dirty) writing these erotic e-mails to these women trying to get them to have a random hookup in the middle of the day in a Galleria store dressing room. But it is a first. I'm just pissed I paid $60 for it and I havent hooked up yet. Tonight someone actually e-mailed me (and then called me out of nowhere). Turns out she was not hot. The girl could barely fucking speak english. So I thanked her for applying, then hung up.

I feel more and more like an idiot talking about this. So I'll stop. I think I'd like to hook up with regular girls, not freaks I meet online. That's just gross. It's 12:40am and I have a big day of doing nothing tomorrow, so I think I'll watch Swingers and then go to bed.

First night out

I have not been out in Houston in a long ass time. Not since at least late May. So it was not without some hesitation that I agreed to go out to this place called Rich's last Thursday. For those of you not familiar with this place, it is normally a gay club, that turns straight on Thursdays. It's also 18 and up. I have really forgotten the appeal of the 18 year old female. But I have also forgotten how to talk to women. Ridiculous. Seriously, I froze up. Like a little bitch. But not for long, because my friend alcohol came along and all caution was thrown to the wind. But no catches that night.

Girls met: 2
Numbers: 0
Outlook: Neutral